A Mumbler is a sexy girl in tight jeans, shorts, yoga pants. or anything that is really form-fitting. They call her a mumbler because you can see her lips moving, but you can’t quite make out what she’s saying.
It’s a joke definition based on comparing her pussy lips to her mouth’s lips. Pretty good stuff, actually.
I don’t know if anybody besides me has been to a mall lately, but every single woman under 40 seems to be wearing skin-tight pants or shorts these days. I love this trend, and hope it continues forever. My favorite is when a hot woman wears her skin-tight yoga pants around. You know she’s flexible, because she goes to yoga. And you can see her ass and pussy, because the pants are so tight. Perfect storm.
A lot of times the mumbler is accompanied by the whale tail. That’s when a woman’s pants are low-riders, and when she sits down or bends over, you can see the top of her underwear. A mumbler with a sexy whale tail is hard to beat when you’re eating in the mall food court. Use your camera phone to preserve the moment.
The mumbler is really the outline of the woman’s pussy, specifically her pudendal cleft and vulva. If the pants are tight enough, and you’re close enough, you should be able to make out the thickness of the woman’s pussy lips, and how plump her clit is, when at rest. These are important factors when deciding which mall skank to fuck in your car later that afternoon.
The Mumbler is also known as the “camel toe”. Everyone and their priest knows what a camel toe is, so I’m not going to go over it here. Suffice to say they are great. The best is when an eighteen year old hotty is on your intramural water-polo team and you get to see her camel toe when she’s in her bathing suit. Use your camera phone to preserve the moment.
The male equivalent of the Mumbler is the moose-knuckle. It is never, ever, EVER a good look for a man.
Ever.
It should be noted that just because a woman has a tight-looking pussy from the outside, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s got a tight pussy on the inside. I’ve been with women whose pussies looked like they had never been fucked, only to slide into the fucking Grand Canyon. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, or a vagina by it’s vulva. The proof is in the pudding. Similarly, you might pull down a woman’s panties and see a gross vagina with huge pussy lips that looks like it’s been destroyed by a thousand monster cocks. But then, when you slide in, it’s tight and juicy.
You just never know.
1. As Dave sat in a machine at his gym, he could see a sexy woman’s mumbler as she stretched in front of him. God Bless spandex, Dave thought.
2. I posted a picture of a mumbler on tumblr.
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