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Autocunnilingus

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Everyone has heard the rumors about Marilyn Manson removing his lower 4 ribs in order to blow himself. Maybe it’s true, and maybe it isn’t, but it makes for some good conversation. Now have you ever thought about how hard it’d be for a woman to give herself her own face time? It may not be likely, or physically attainable, but it is called autocunnilingus.

One might consider how many ribs would be necessary to remove to perform autocunnilingus. My guess is at least 4, depending on the size of the woman. The woman could also have a particularly short torso (and all leg – booyeah), and be able to perform this by only removing 2 ribs. Still, some gnarly surgery isn’t the best idea for something like this. There are over three billion men in the world. At least half of them would be willing to lick a clit for a decently hot chick. I don’t exactly know why autocunnilingus would be desired, despite the mere fact that everyone says it’s not possible.

Why do you climb a mountain? Because it is there? Why do you suck your own dick? Because no one thought it could be done. Why do you perform autocunnilingus? Because I surgically lengthened my tongue. But really – if you’ve done this (somehow) you may as well make some cash with porn and/or blowjobs for money. I’d pay at least $200 for a chick to blow me with an extra-long tongue. Well, depending on her gag reflex…

1. My chick can perform autocunnilingus on herself. Saves me the trouble and she still wants dick afterwards! Sweet!

2. Autocunnilingus attempts are the cause of 40,000 neck injuries per year in America.

RELATED TERMS:

Cunnilingus

Masturbation