FEATURED DEFINITION
Premature Ejaculation

Click To Enlarge

Premature Ejaculation is when a sexual encounter goes tits-up. Okay, that probably didn’t clear it up for you. Pre-Ejac is when a guy ejaculates before he (or his partner) wants to. So he comes early. He shoots his load too quickly. Sometimes it happens really early and it only takes a tug down there or a bit of kissing to make him lose his spunk.

It’s frustrating, disappointing and an all around mood (and ego) killer. But there are solutions. Remember on Glee? Finn had this exact problem. His solution was to think of the time he and his mother accidentally hit the postman with their car. The cracking sound of the postman’s body hitting the car vibrating and reverberating through the air was enough to bring Finn back to reality ASAP. If you experience Pre-Ejac, all you’ve got to do is come up with a plan on how you can dial it back. Think about your grandmother’s funeral and how your mom made you kiss Granny’s cold pale lifeless lips and the whole room smelled like dead flowers and old people and you REALLY had to pee but you were afraid to go down that long dark hallway in the funeral home. Or just think about your mom. That should be good enough.

If this is a problem for you, don’t worry. Unless you’re in your mid twenties/early thirties, it will probably pass with time and a little effort on your part. If you’re older and still having this issue, you can go online and check out a treatment called Ejaculation Trainer. This treatment walks you through how to control stages of arousal and teaches you easy relaxation techniques that will help you slow your body down. Also, there are youtube videos. Lots and lots of youtube videos.

1. Janis didn’t understand. Every time she and Nick kissed, he’d get all weird and his voice would get funny and he’d eventually jump up from the couch and say he had to go home. She was in gym class with her best friend Molly when she finally mentioned something. He gets all weird and he’s always trying to cover up his pants, like holding his jacket in front of him. I don’t get it. I thought he liked me. Molly shrugged. Maybe he’s shooting his load early. Janis stared at her, what are you talking about? Look, Molly said, when guys get, like, really into things, sometimes they lose control and shoot their spunk. I read all about it in Cosmo. It’s called premature ejaculation. Janis shuddered, Gross. Well get used to it, Molly said. Sooner or later he’s gonna be shooting that stuff down your throat.

2. Doug couldn’t stand it. It was like whenever he even looked at a chick his junk would be ready to blow. How the hell was he going to talk to a girl, let alone do all that foreplay shit they say you have to do before you can actual get your dick inside her? He needed answers and he needed them fast. He typed ‘premature ejaculation’ into google’s search engine. There’s got to be some kind of solution, he thought.

RELATED TERMS:

Ejaculation

Orgasm