Mosquito Bites are annoying and itchy, but they’re also really fun to scratch. No, I’m not talking about regular mosquito bites you get while you’re camping in the summer, I’m talking about those tiny little breasts that particularly flat women have, that look like tiny, red and swollen bumps of flesh with a nipple on top. There are a wide variety of terms out there used to describe tiny breasts, including Skittles, mole noses, purple smarties, and brown sugar cubes. Now, those terms refer more to the actual nipple rather than the breast, because for some reason women who have unusually small breasts ironically seem to have extremely large, protruding nipples. Terms that are used more for the breast portion of a tiny pair of tits include avocado halves, Ant Hills, or boiled eggs.
The term Mosquito Bites is traditionally used in a derogatory manner to describe those tiny little titties, but I’d like to defend the small-breasted women out there and highlight some of the benefits of having sex with a girl who has small, modest breasts.
The most obvious benefit of a girl who has mosquito bites is the fact that they’ll always seem perky and young. No matter how old they get, those tits never look more than 15 years old. Imagine how nice that must be…you’re 35 and you’ve been married for 8 years, so the sex life is starting to get a little boring and you’re no longer attracted to this woman who lies next to you every night and farts in her sleep. You wish for those college and high school days when you fucked young supple virgins every chance you got and never got bored of it. Well, even if you’re married for twenty years, you can still achieve that same fantasy if your wife happens to have mosquito bites for breasts. All you’ve got to do is get her to come around to the idea of role-playing, and get her to throw on a schoolgirl uniform and chew some gum. Trust me, you’ll feel like you’re back at summer camp when you were twelve. Imagine trying that with a woman who’s sporting a pack of double D’s that are 40 years going on 75. It’d be like trying to wrangle a Mother Walrus into a sports bra.
Another benefit of mosquito bites include the ability to go for a jog, clean the house, and work out at the gym, ALL without getting that nasty, sweaty boob cheese that bigger girls get after physical exertion and not enough breathing room. You also never have to worry about getting nailed in the face by a pair of 25lb medicine balls while your girlfriend’s riding cowgirl style or getting you to give her a particularly aggressive motorboat. As you can see, mosquito bites are a lot better than a couple of saggy tumors. After all, I’ve never seen a fat girl who is flat, and I’ve never seen a woman over the age of 40 who had nice perky tits that weren’t fake, unless they’re an A or B cup. I’m sure you’ve heard the popular saying, ‘A handful is enough.’ Well, I prefer the saying, “If all she’s got are nipples on skin, then at least you know she’ll always be thin.’
1. I love my girlfriend’s tiny little mosquito bites. I just might marry her, then I’ll never have to worry about fumbling with a bra strap again.
2. If you’re ever dating a girl with mosquito bite breasts, NEVER have sex outside in the cold. Those things are like ice picks when they’re hard.
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