Get an inbox is a phrase that’s derived from the popular expression “get a room”. When couples constantly leave romantic, mushy, or suggestive messages on each other’s Facebook wall for everyone else to see, someone might say to them ‘Get an inbox’. Correction: someone SHOULD say that.

For example: a friend of mine met her husband in late June and they got engaged in early September. They barely knew each other. Therefore, they had to compensate by being overly disgustingly romantic over Facebook to make up for the fact that in just under three months they had decided they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. So they acted like they knew each other better than anyone else. They posted pictures of themselves making out, they posted pictures of them hanging out with each other’s friends and family, they posted pictures of themselves doing things like bike rides and walking my friend’s dog. Of course, they had only done these things once, but all the pictures told a different narrative. They told the narrator of, ‘look at us, we’re so in love that we’re always together and always doing these amazing things together and look at how close we are with each other’s friends and families and look at the amazing outdoorsy activities we do and look at us look at us LOOK AT US.’

Another example: This is just my own personal example, but it’s every fucking person who’s ever used the word ‘hubby’ on Facebook. First of all, I fucking hate the word hubby. It sounds so cutesy and gross. So even when people say shit like, ‘the hubby’s gone for the weekend, what should I do??’, I feel like saying, ‘get a fucking inbox and shut the fuck up…nobody cares that you’re married but you.’

SLASH why is everyone so obsessed with being married?

A third example: Another friend of mine posted this weird ridiculous poster that she wrote for her boyfriend when she met him at the airport. It read ‘Ben Dover will you marry me and father my children?’. Then she posted it on Facebook. Like, that’s cool and everything that she wants to marry Ben, but I don’t really want to think about him fathering her children in the literal sense. Like, that just seems a little too graphic for the airport and a little too graphic for Facebook. If she had written ‘Ben Dover, I want you to bend me over and fuck my brains out’ that would be cool, cause that’s kind of what we all want, but this whole fathering of children feels a little too intimate to be discussing over Facebook, or written on a poster to hold up at the airport. Seriously. Get an inbox.

1. Those two are so gross on Facebook. They need to get a fucking inbox.

2. I’d get you an inbox, but right now all I have is an outbox….as in I’m going to shoot out my jizz into your box.

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Dillhole

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