A Hood Ornament is another name for a woman’s clit piercing. It is a colloquial expression based on a fancy car’s hood ornament, which is often silver or gold colored, and shows off the expensive automobile it adorns. In this metaphor, the vagina is the expensive automobile. It is appropriate since, just like a car, a vagina usually costs a lot of money to get into. Once you’re in it, you can go fast or slow, just like a car.
Some women’s vaginas could most suitably be compared to a stretched limo, and others a compact car. Even though you’d think you’d want the limo, believe me – you want the compact. Snug is better than space when it comes to vaginas.
The decision to pierce the clitoris is an odd one to me. After all, it’s the most sensitive part of the lady’s vagina. Usually, when someone has a hood ornament, it is actually the clitoral hood that is pierced – not the clitoris itself. This makes much more sense. However, there are women who decide to pierce their actual love bud. These women obviously are kinky and awesome, and should be well and truly fucked in all sorts of depraved ways if you ever start dating one.
A woman that wants to get her clitoral hood pierced is still very kinky. Give her a proper rogering too.
If a woman wants to get her actual clitoris pierced, she must have a clitoris that is big enough to pierce. I’ve been with a lot of women in my day, and some had very small clits. Even when stimulated and plump, they were still very small. They wouldn’t be able to get their clits pierced, even if they wanted to. The most they could do is get their clit hood pierced. Which is still hot.
There were other women with huge clits too, don’t get me wrong. You could pierce their clits with a god damn bowling pin. They’re much more fun to give cunnilingus to. Finding a small clit is tricky, especially when you’re drunk as hell. Since most of the women I bring home are from my local pub, I’m usually drunk as hell. Whisky dick helps me last during sex.
Because the clit can sometimes be hard to find during cunnilingus, a woman with a pierced clit is helping you out. You don’t have to hit the clit proper, you can just flick the piercing (usually a barbell shaped piece of jewellery). Don’t get too into the oral sex, though, or you could end up chipping a tooth. No woman is worth expensive dental work.
There are some guys who pierce the tip of their cock, which would most approximately equate to a clitoral piercing. While I respect the pain tolerance of these fellows, I also shudder at their decision-making ability. Your body is a temple, and your dick is the altar. Worship it. Don’t warp it.
1. Paul loved giving oral sex to his wife ever since she got her sexy new Hood Ornament.
2. Madonna’s Hood Ornament hangs down to her knees.
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