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Homosexual is a term only old people and academics still use in daily conversation, but technically the word simply means that a person is sexually attracted to the same sex. There are a wide variety of terms, such as gay, lesbian, fudge packer, queer, etc. etc. that can be used in place of homosexual, but usually it just depends on the person you are speaking to. Predominantly, homosexual has become a term saved for males, and lesbian is used for women.
Although homosexual has a fairly clear meaning, there are a huge variety of different types of gay men. The most common and easily accessible type of gay man is the ‘Flamer.’ These types of homosexual men can be over dramatic, extremely thin and fashionable, maintain excellent hygiene, watch Will & Grace on VHS every night, and can be seen walking either a Chihuahua, or a Frenchie (depending on whether you’re in Toronto or New York), each morning to the park with a Latte in hand.
Another type of homosexual, which is the complete antithesis of a Flamer, is the ‘Bear.’ These men are burly, rugged, hairy, and often adorned in leather. They may or may not be seen riding a motorcycle, and will undoubtedly have the work experience and resume of a well trained trucker. The most surprising aspect of the Bear is that some of them have a deep, masculine baritone voice, while others have a shrill, nasally voice much like a Flamer.
If you’ve ever been to a Gay club you have more than likely been a witness to the inevitable ‘Bear fight.’ A bear fight usually occurs between midnight and 2:00am, when two bears who have been eyeing each other across the dance floor finally have a showdown over the hot piece of ass they’ve both been buying drinks for all night.
The two bears will act on instinct, sniffing each other out and eventually grappling across the dance floor in ass-less chaps until one of them wins.
One never wants to get in the middle of a Bear fight, and even more importantly, one should always try to avoid being the “meat” the bears are fighting over. No matter who wins, the meat usually loses, often being dragged home on the back of a Harley by a bloodied, leather bound guy named Bruce only to be tied down on a rickety futon and dominated all night while you get fed beef jerky and Bud Light.
Other common homosexual archetypes include the chicken hawk; an older gay man who solely seeks out younger men that are at least half his age, known as ‘chicks,’ and prowls the clubs with a stylish leather jacket (no studs), and a tastefully modest earring.
1. The bouncer at the club was about to break up the fight spilling across the dance floor, but when he realized it was two large, homosexual bikers, he looked the other way. Last year, he got his arm broken when he stepped in the middle of a Bear fight.
2. Perhaps Steve is a homosexual. That’s why he’s not into football or UFC.
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