A porn storm is when you surfing for porn and end up getting bombarded with pop-up windows. This is especially common with PC computers, but can also happen on Macs. This can be both awesome and annoying. The awesome part is the fact that there is just SO MUCH AMAZING PORN on the internet these days that you have a plethora of choices and you’ll never have to watch the same video or see the same photos twice if you don’t want to. The annoying part is that these pop-ups can and will distract you mid-climax at some point in your masturbatory career. When you’re rubbing one out you usually want to be able to focus on the tits and asses and the moaning that you’re watching at that moment and you don’t want to have to keep one hand free to click away those annoying pop-ups.
Another version of a porn storm is when you find you just can’t get enough porn so you set up your living room as a kind of porn central, where you’ve got videos playing on your huge flat screen TV, magazines scattered all over the floor with pictures of giant boobs all over them, your laptop playing videos, your fiancé’s computer playing videos, and so on. The cool thing about this kind of porn storm is that sometimes when you’re really channeling it, you can make it rain boobies just outside of your apartment. That totally happened to me once and it was awesome. I was jerking off and it was pouring rain outside. I set up my apartment so it was all porn all the time, and suddenly, just as I was about to come, the sky released a plethora of perky tits that ranges from massive and round and soft to teeny tiny. And all the glorious nipples you would ever want. I guess I was also fucked up on acid that day, so that might have had something to do with it, but I’m still convinced it totally happened. Lucy in the sky with titties. I think I got hit in the head with Pamela Anderson’s boobs at one point.
The only thing to be aware of during a porn storm is that it’s possible for you to get knocked unconscious by boobies. Sometimes they fly out of the sky like hail and you’ve got to remember to duck or else one of those things is gonna take your eye out.
1. Never look at porn on your boss’s computer, not matter how tempting. It doesn’t matter if he’s on vacation or if you came in to catch up over the weekend. It doesn’t matter how badly you need to rub one out or how diligently you wipe the monitor when you’re done. The risk of a porn storm is just way to fucking high.
2. My mum found my porn stash. I guess I’ll have to resort to all online all the time. The only thing that terrifies me is a porn storm.
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