Parascopism is a type of voyeurism, usually involving spying through bedroom windows. Shit yeah. Just like George McFly in “Back to the Future”. He should have used a safety harness.
This definition goes out to all my peeps, not all of which are peepers.
So, obviously the word “periscope” is at the root of the word parascopism. Why? Because advanced peepers know that you don’t want whoever you are peeping on to see you while you’re spying on them. So what do you do? You build yourself an old-fashioned naval periscope, that’s what. All you need are some prisms, some Pringles cans, and the internet. That way, if the person you’re spying on does look outside their window, all they see is a periscope, and not your face. If they begin to scream and shout, pack up the periscope and get the fuck out of there.
I should actually mention at this point in the definition that most places are beginning to expand the voyeur laws to stop peepers. So, if you do get caught, as well as getting beat up, you’ll probably have to go to court and explain what you were doing in the bushes. I’d say I was taking a piss because I was dying to go and couldn’t find a bathroom.
Speaking of periscopes, did you know that in the early part of the 20th century they had periscope guns!?! Yeah. They rigged up some periscope guns during trench warfare. Man, if I was killed by a periscope gun, I’d feel pretty embarrassed.
My dad used to tell me a story about when he was fifteen years old. Apparently he was a good looking and strapping young lad, so when an ugly but well-built eighteen year old girl began to show an interest in dad, he wasn’t surprised. She asked him if he wanted to see her tits. Dad said yes. She said that if my dad was walking by her house at exactly nine o’clock that night, she’d be changing by the window.
Naturally, my dad told all his friends. By the time nine o’clock came around, there were twenty young men all slowly walking down the street, leering into one of the house’s window. And the girl did not disappoint. She apparently had big, nice, round, beautiful tits. My dad never ended up pursuing her romantically, but because of the parascopism with all the neighborhood boys, she became very popular and always had a boyfriend.
All’s well that ends well, I guess.
When I was hitting puberty my bedroom window faced the bedroom of my neighbor and his insanely hot blonde wife. They must have seen me peeping one night, because after that they ALWAYS kept their blinds closed.
Dammit.
1. I was afraid my parascopism was getting out of hand when I installed a high-def camera with a zoom lens outside my neighbor’s bedroom window. Not worried enough to stop, mind you.
2. I’d have parascopism if I lived beside the Playboy Mansion.
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