A pitcher is the (so-called) active partner in anal intercourse. I get why this word exists and why this definition exists to support it, but I kind of think it’s a bit of bullshit. Like, since when is there an ‘active partner’ and a ‘passive partner’ in any type of sex act? Like, I know there’s Dom and Sub relationships, but everyone knows that the Sub has just as much power if not more than the Dom. The active partner in anal sex very obviously refers to the man penetrating his male or female sexual partner with his dick. The male or female partner is just lying there, or on his/her hands and knees waiting to be the ‘catcher’, so to speak.
I don’t believe you can have only one active partner, or if you do, this tends to result in an incredibly bad sexual experience for all involved, and can potentially be labeled under the category of sexual assault. The person receiving that dick in their ass is certainly an active partner. In fact, they’re the ones who get to decide how fast the dick goes in, how far, how hard the thrusts are, and it is their ass that is the ultimate fun house that the dick wants to be in, and if that person decides that dick is not allowed entry…. well, the game’s over, just like that.
It’s this type of terminology that can really de-rail sex in some ways. Like, on the one hand, I will totally use this term in the future and think it’s awesome and hilarious and clever. On the other hand, it’s shaping my point of view of what is active and what is passive, and creating this kind of dichotomy between partners, gently manipulating us into believing that one partner is the doer and one is the doey, so to speak. One person fucks while the other ‘gets fucked’. Yes, this has some truth to it, but it diminishes sex and sexual acts into a simplistic black and white experience, when it is meant to be a collaboration, an exploration, and a connection.
Sports metaphors and sex have gone hand-in-hand for ages. This seems to be a theme that western society relies on, partly because we’re uncomfortable with sex so we like to joke about it and use metaphors and euphemisms, but also because this helps us reinforce gender stereotypes around sex acts and how they’re performed and who is the so-called ‘active partner’ and ‘passive partner’.
1. I’m the pitcher, you’re the catcher, so get down on all fours and stick that ass in the air for me.
2. My boyfriend loves to pitch. He was a pitcher in high school, and wanted to play for the Blue Jays. He never got that far, but when we got together, his pitching days were far from over. I taught him how to bend me over and push his dick into my asshole, and since then he’s been over the moon.
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