Porking is another word for fucking. Which is another word for having sex. Which is another word for intercourse.
Porking usually implies sex that’s a little more hardcore, a little faster, a little harder, and a little hotter. It’s not something that’s super widely used, but it has its purpose. It’s kind of considered to be a bit of a disgusting verb. Porking someone, while possibly delicious, kind of sounds like you’re shoving a giant piece of ham inside them. Or, perhaps, a pork chop. While there’s nothing wrong with using food in sex play, one might want to further consider the type of food that one chooses. Chocolate, whip cream, maple syrup (for that super Canadian sex you’re after) are all decent choices, albeit sticky and annoying on the sheets. Tasty? Yes. Functional? Not really. Vegetables tend to be a prime choice, though you’ll probably want to wash them extensively before shoving them deep inside any orifice. Or, consider going for organic and/or farmer’s market veggies. No pesky pesticides or hormones to deal with, and the produce tends to be super sized on its own. Ever grown a zucchini in your garden? These monstrosities are often as big, if not bigger, than the largest dildo you can find. Meat, on the other hand, is not really all that ideal. And if you’re Jewish, well, porking is pretty much out.
Another use for porking is when you hunt for pigs. You have to be careful when using this phrase around vegetarians, they get really uptight about it. And it’s particularly important to avoid the porking protests that usually happen around all major holidays – any time that you might want to go porking with your relatives and do a little pig roasting. The protesters are easy to spot though, with their fake snouts and ears and the signs around their necks that say things like, ‘porking is for pricks’, ‘don’t be a porker, instead fork her (a nice chickpea curry for dinner), and ‘pigs are people too’.
1. Ben really wanted to pork that chick. She was so hot, she made Uma Thurman look like a used tampon.
2. Jen was really into experimenting with food. One night, however, that experimentation when horribly awry. She started with the usual garden-variety veggies, shoving various things up her vagina. But she was bored with produce and wanted to try something a little different. Sometime wild and a little off the rails. She peered into the fridge. There wasn’t much to work with. Leftover lasagna. A jumbled variety of fruits, none of which would work particularly well inside her. Half a wedge of Brie cheese. A container of milk. Mushrooms. Boring, she thought. She was about to give up when she spotted the shine of the tin foil covering last night’s barbecued pork chops. They were hidden behind a giant jug of apple juice and she lifted them out gently. She set them on the counter and unwrapped the foil. They gleamed. Perfect in size and shape, with just enough of a challenge to keep her interested. She would be porking herself tonight.
RELATED TERMS: