To Fly the Japanese Flag means a woman is on her period. It’s that special week every month when her white sanitary napkins get spotted with red blood, making them look just like the Japanese flag, which is a white flag with one big red dot in the middle. Some cultures used to banish any woman on her period from the village for a week, only letting her back in once she’s stopped bleeding. Ah, the good ‘ol days.
It reminds me of when, after the end of World War 2 and the Americans were occupying Japan. They wouldn’t let the Japanese Flag be flown anywhere, in order to crush any remaining patriot fervor. Eventually they let people display their flags again, in 1949. Imagine living in a world where no woman got her period for over four years! Ice cream sales would plummet.
Just kidding ladies. I love ya. In fact, I love it when the women I’m seeing fly the Japanese flag, because it means I didn’t knock any of them up accidentally. Plus, it means it’s blowjob week for me! Win win.
And, just like a woman’s period has different phases to it, so the Japanese flag has gone through changes throughout its history. A woman’s blood color and heaviness of flow fluctuate during her menstrual week. Similarly, the Japanese flag’s red color has been changed at least a half dozen times since 1973.
To continue the comparison, if you were to say that a woman is flying the Japanese flag at half mast, I guess that would mean that she’s just about done her period. I’m always a little leery about giving my lady friends cunnilingus as soon as their period has ended. I’m always scared there are a few extra blood chunks that haven’t descended yet, and I’m going to end up feeling it do down my throat before I can react. I don’t think I’d want to continue with the sex if that happened.
Actually, if a woman is in the middle of her heaviest flow, then she should say that she’s flying the Macedonian flag instead. The Macedonian flag looks just like the Japanese flag, except that it’s got all these bold red lines coming off the red dot in the circle. It looks like the blood is shooting off in every direction, which I assume is what happens to women during the heavy flow.
I’d just like to say how much I like being a man, and not bleeding out my dick one week out of every month until I die. Thank you, evolution.
1. When Jen told Frank that she was Flying the Japanese Flag on their honeymoon, he was a little disappointed. Oh, he had already stretched out all her holes while they were dating. He just wanted to fuck her on the beach, which they had never done before.
2. If your lady is about to Fly the Japanese Flag, stay at your mistress’s pad for the week.