Table Dancing is an erotic performance that a stripper performs for a customer on top of their table. Usually the customer pays for the erotic dancer, but sometimes they give freebies, in order to attract other customers. Both female and male erotic dancers perform table dances at their respective clubs, and some are extremely talented at this specific art form.
All jurisdictions are different when it comes to what is acceptable in strip clubs. Some allow touching, some do not. Some allow VIP dances in private booths, and some do not. My advice is to find the nearest strip club that has the middle-of-the-road strippers, and see just how far you can make your dollar stretch. If you go to a high-end strip club, you’ll end up waiting forever to get a table dance from the hot strippers. If you go to a low-end strip club, you’ll end up vomiting when the gross dancers won’t leave you alone.
Find an average strip club, and get the hottest dancer you can find. Because she’s up on top of your table, it’s a great point of view to seeing her pussy and boobs from below. If you can get away with it, turn your camera phone on and put it in your lap so you can get the whole thing on tape for later. Don’t let your wife see the video, otherwise you’ll have to explain why you spent your kid’s college money on a twenty year-old with huge tits, shaking her money-maker in your face for half an hour.
I fucking love strip clubs. I try to find the stripper with the hottest body, and the eyes of someone severely medicated on illegal drugs. Since you’re going to be watching from below, the face doesn’t really matter. You won’t be able to see past her tits anyway. So, if there is a butter face in the club (hot body, but her (butter) face is terrible), get her to give you a few table dances. If you’ve accidentally spilled your drink earlier in the night, you might want to warn her, so she doesn’t slip off the table and crack her head open.
When you buy a table dance from a stripper, you’re renting her for exactly one full song. You might try to beat the system by waiting until they play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ before asking for a table dance. It won’t work. Every song is exactly timed at three minutes. If the actual song is longer than that, the DJ will just fade the music out. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Oh, if there is a stripper than can do the splits both ways, be sure to get a table dance from her. Flexibility is key with stripper performances. Trust me.
1. Beth was nervous that someone she knew would see her Table Dancing at the local strip club. She was less nervous after a co-worker gave her some heroin.
2. Table Dancing might seem degrading, but a quality stripper makes $100,000 a year.
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