Love is fairly difficult to define but some might say it’s nature’s way of tricking us into reproducing. But really, that’s lust. If we didn’t have the hormones, the horniness, the desire, we wouldn’t be able to reproduce at all (except for those innovative Lesbians…of course even they need the jizz from some construction worker and in order to get that jizz they need to find a dude who can get horny enough to wack off and come into a cup). Love is a bit different and a bit more complicated.
Perhaps the reason why it is more complicated than lust is because it has so many different meanings and levels. I love my friends. I love them deeply and unconditionally. It is not the same, however, as the love I feel for my sister. My sister and I probably fight more than I would ever fight with any of my friends, but at the end of the day, we are connected and bonded eternally. I love my partner. That is a slow love that has come to fruition over a long period of getting to know each other, fighting and compromising and having sex and cooking meals and moving from one shitty apartment to the next and dealing with job stress and a dying pet and trying to get pregnant and failing and trying again.
And then there’s the love between a parent and a child, which is something intensely sacred, something that is indescribable and ineffable, as most extreme and pure type of love are.
And then there’s the love for all those past lovers that didn’t work out, even the ones you knew weren’t going to work out but you loved them anyway. You miss them and you still love them and you will continue to love them forever. Even if the only way you can see them again is through their happy lives on Facebook.
You can definitely fall out of love, but sometimes you stay loving those people who were only in your life for what feels like a blink or a heartbeat. You can keep loving them because they represent a different life, another possibility, a completely alternate path that you’ll never get to explore. Love is both all encompassing and restrictive. It’s the best kind of risk in this life.
1. I’ve had more unrequited love than reciprocal love. Hold onto the love people give you. Love isn’t something you feel it’s something you do. And if the person you’re with doesn’t want it than do yourself a favour and save it for someone who does.
2. I think loving others has given me just about as much grief as it’s brought happiness into my life. Sometimes I wish it didn’t end or leave or be in this constant state of flux. I don’t know if falling in love makes us better humans but I think it keeps us in a state of constantly trying to be better. That must be worth something.
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