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A Lot Lizard is a prostitute who works at truck stops, specifically finding and fucking the truckers in the truck stop parking lots. It’s actually a pretty smart set up. They park in the non-commercial lot with their CB radio in their car. They use the CB to tell all the truckers that they’re ready and willing to take some over-caffeinated semen up the smooch. The truckers that are interested, CB back and tell her to meet them in their truck. A half hour later, she’s fifty bucks richer, and the trucker is on his way to Burbank with his load of Beanie Babies in tow.
Of course, the whores can’t actually say that they’re looking for cock to suck for money, so they have to use trucker code on the CB radio. They refer to blowjobs as “big mouth bass”, and having anal sex as an “empty trailer hitch”. If they swallow, they call themselves a “hoover highway”, and if they’re willing to fuck you bareback, it’s referred to as a “crazy cooter”. Sometimes when I’m travelling across America during one of my soul-searching trips, I’ll spend hours just listening to the dulcet tones of these lovely ladies as they lure the truckers with their wiles.
I understand that Lot Lizards do very well, in general. I guess I can understand that, since travelling on the road like truckers do must be a very lonely job. I remember once I was driving with my girlfriend on the highway, and she had a skirt on. She had pulled down her panties so I could finger fuck her while I drove. All of a sudden, I realize that the transport truck that was passing us on the passenger side had sort of matched out speed. I look over, and see that the trucker is looking down and watching me finger fuck my girlfriend.
He’s got a look on his face that tells me he’s masturbating as he’s watching us. I speed up and lose him. My girlfriend actually kind of got off on being watched, which started us into an awesome voyeur phase in our sexuality. I was pissed off at the trucker though. Then I looked at it from his point of view. He must be super lonely and horny on the road all fucking day. That’s why I’m glad there are lot lizards out there to help him out after he’s had a long night.
To their credit, a lot lizard probably has to deal with some pretty sweaty and sticky balls in their line of work. Those truckers are sitting in the truck for ten hours at a time. That’s going to cause some serious swamp ass. That’s why most lot lizards stick earplugs up their nose before any blowjobs.
Keep up the good work, ladies!
1. Buford loves murdering the lot lizards that tell him they don’t have any family.
2. Daisy Duke ended up as a lot lizard after Uncle Jesse died.
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