A lambskin condom is a condom made from lambskin. A condom is a barrier device that’s meant to block sperm from entering the vagina, therefore protecting against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Lambskin condoms are condoms made from sheep intestines. They are fairly effective as a contraceptive, but they are less effective than latex in preventing the spread of STIs. Lambskin condoms are a good alternative for those who are allergic to latex, though there are other hypoallergenic materials (like polyurethane) which are highly recommended over lambskin simply because they are more likely to protect against transmission.
Lambskin condoms are kind of creepy looking. Like, more so than regular condoms. They really do look like sheep intestines or haggis or whatever they’re suppose to be. They look a little too organ-like for my taste. I’ve never used one during sex. Mostly because I’m not allergic to latex and neither are any of my past or present sexual partners (and latex is just way cheaper and a better barrier), but a small part of me just never wants to try them because I don’t think I could get the feeling of I have a sheep’s stomach thrusting in and out of my vagina. That would likely kill the mood for me.
I guess lambskin is a better name than sheep intestines, but I don’t quite get where the ‘lamb’ part comes into play. Unless this is suppose to insinuate that little lambies grow in their sheep mommy’s intestine instead of in the uterus, but that seems like an unlikely possibility. How would they come out? Through the sheep mommy’s ass? I suppose that could happen, but what an uncomfortable experience. The anus is meant to stretch, but it’s not meant to stretch to the point of pushing out a baby lamb. And what if there are complications? You can’t really do a cesarean on a sheep’s stomach, can you? Like, I guess you can, but it would be more like bowel surgery or something and that sheep mommy probably wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom normally ever again. She would end up needing a sheep colostomy bag and the vet would have to drain it and then teach her how to drain it and well, maybe sheep can be toilet trained but I’m guessing it’s a lot more challenging to colostomy bag train your sheep.
But I digress.
It’s nice to have an alternative to latex. Couldn’t we just call them ‘soft skin condoms’ or ‘non-latex condoms’ or ‘condoms that won’t make your dick break out in hives’?
1. My brother has to use lambskin condoms. The first time he tried latex with his girlfriend, she screamed while he was inside her, saying that it burned. When he pulled out, her vagina was all bubbly like a witch’s caldron. Then he found out that she WAS a witch. That made the family reunion kind of awkward. My mum’s pretty into Jesus.
2. Here lamby lamby…gonna make you into a sweet lambskin condom.
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