Sex Porn Dictionary

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Land Shark


Landshark is a sexual move performed by the male, that is not only hilarious, but extremely impressive when done properly. During a landshark, the woman braces herself against the wall with her ass sticking out, while the man stands across the room completely naked and facing her. He then puts his hands into position, pushing them together to imitate a shark fin, then runs full speed across the room towards her, and at the last second he rams his dick up her ass.

This move was first popularized in Japan, by the same fisherman who popularized such Cumshui moves as The Walrus and The Flipper. It is extremely difficult to properly pull off the landshark, mostly because no woman in their right mind would agree to such an ass-mangling sex move. Fortunately for us, women like Leanne exist, and she absolutely loves sharks. According to sources, when Leanne first received a landshark, at the moment of impact she actually giggled. The guy rammed his cock inside her ass as fast as he could, running full speed, and she just giggled. Apparently, the man wasn’t even sure he was accurate because he felt a light puff of air when he entered her, and other than that he felt nothing. When asked if it resembled throwing a hot dog down a hallway, he said it wasn’t quite that bad. It was more like throwing a trout up stream. You can imagine, there must have been very little resistance.

1. When I first gave my girlfriend the landshark, I had bruised balls and a bent dick for weeks afterward.

2. If you ever give a girl the landshark, make sure you don’t close your eyes at the last second.

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