Sex Porn Dictionary

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Greyhound


A Greyhound is a very, very, very short skirt. It is called that because the Greyhound (skirt) is only an inch away from the “hare” (pubic hair) of the woman wearing it. It is based on greyhound racing, where the greyhounds are just millimeters away from the electronic hare that they chase around the track.

Pretty clever, actually.

Personally, I love it when women wear anything revealing. Well, only women with bodies that are worth seeing, to be honest. No sense in some 400 pound land whale wearing a short skirt so we can see her two flabby, beanbag-chair ass-cheeks. With respect.

The Greyhound skirts are superior to the tight yoga pants or tights, since there’s always the chance that a strong breeze will come along, lifting the skirt and revealing the panties. Or, if she’s a really slutty woman, her bare butt and bush. That’s the good stuff. While very few women out on the street wear the Greyhound skirts, there are places where you’re sure to see more than a few.

First, is the dance club in the summer-time. Wait until the beginning of August, when the nights are hot and wet. Then go to the trendiest dance club in your city. You’ll probably have to wait in line for five or six hours (unless you tip the doorman a couple hundred dollars), but it’s worth the wait. Inside you’ll see a lot of women dancing around and wearing tops that show off their tits, and skirts that show off their vaginas. It makes the seventeen dollar beers taste better when you’re watching a nineteen year old perfect ten shake her shit out on the dance floor – getting all sweaty and drunk. So good.

The other place you can go to see the Greyhound skirt in action is your local strip club. Usually, the strippers choose the Greyhound skirts that look like schoolgirl kilts. This is always so hot, mostly because none of them are wearing any panties underneath. Again, you’re looking at seventeen dollar beers, but who cares? Find yourself the stripper that gets your dick hardest and spend your mortgage money on a half-dozen lap dances. So good.

The greyhound dog can reach speeds of up to 70 km/hr, which is the velocity your semen will spray out if you ever get one of these women home for sex.

There is also a sex move known as the “Greyhound Race”, which is when you put the head of your dick into the wire basket from the top of a champagne bottle and run around. It makes your cock look like a muzzled greyhound.

Additionally, if you take the bus rather than jets for long-distance travel, and you want to join the equivalent of the “Mile-high” club, you can have sex in the bus bathroom, and join the “Greyhound Pound” club.

1. I glued mirrors on my shoes when I saw my favorite waitress wearing a Greyhound.

2. Trim your bush if you’re going to wear a Greyhound out, ladies.

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