A gay buffer is basically a space between you and a person of the same sex. When you sit down somewhere (usually in a movie theatre) you purposefully leave an extra seat between you and that person of the same sex so as not to appear gay. It’s pretty stupid if you ask me. First of all, just cause someone is gay doesn’t mean they’re going to hit on you. Second of all, just because you leave an empty seat between you doesn’t mean that that dude isn’t going to slide over sometime during the movie, get down on his knees and start sucking your cock. Gay dudes do that with straight dudes in theatres ALL THE TIME. It’s a known fact. One empty seat between you is not going to provide any kind of buffer. In fact, it’ll probably just make the gay dude even more turned on, knowing that it’s even more forbidden.
Okay, obviously that’s a bullshit lie, but seriously? What the fuck is wrong with straight dudes that they are so fucking homophobic that they need an empty seat between themselves and another dude? I understand not wanting to sit next to strangers in the theatre. They always turn on their cell phones and take annoying pictures of themselves at the theatre and they crunch their popcorn with their mouths wide open and they talk to each other and it’s really really annoying. So, yeah, leave an empty seat between you and THOSE people. But to ward off gay dudes? Get over yourself. You are not that hot. And even if you are, queers can smell your homophobia from a mile away and they don’t want anything to do with you.
There should really be a straight buffer in this world of ours. Like, probably there is. I’m pretty sure tons of queers are carefully leaving an empty seat next to them in theatres just so that they don’t appear straight. You know, just in case the straight might accidentally rub off on them. It’s a horrifying thought but it could totally happen.
1. I had my family over for thanksgiving dinner. The only problem is that my sister brought her boyfriend who’s totally homophobic. It was super awkward. I had to put a chair between him and basically everyone in my family because none of us wanted the straight to rub off on us. He might think those empty chairs are a gay buffer, but they’re totally a straight buffer for us.
2. I was at the movies with my girlfriend and she wanted to sit at the very front, right? But the only two seats left were beside this super hot dude and his boyfriend. I can’t sit next to them. I’m already trying to get the gay sucked out of me with every blowjob my girlfriend gives me. If I sit next to these dudes I’ll totally end up blowing both of them during the movie. If only there was an extra seat between us, a gay buffer.
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