Rachel Roxxx rocks. It had to be done. Sorry. Sometimes a pornstar falls into our laps and we think to ourselves, damn I’d really love to bang her. Okay, we think that about most pornstars. Actually, we’re thinking about getting down with a bunch of pornstars right now. In this particular scenario we’re poolside and - wait, let’s first introduce you to Rachel Roxxx and show you how she can suck a dick like it’s the Dick-Sucking World Series.
Posts Tagged ‘dick’
Weekly Porn Star: Rachel Roxxx
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
Clowns in Porn and Roleplay
Monday, September 12th, 2011Hurry hurry, step right up! Under the big top today we have a bunch of clowns, but not just any clowns — today we are going to look at the nastiest, wildest, and maybe funniest of clowns — the one’s that show up in porn. That’s right — there are a growing number of wild and crazy sex videos that feature the harlequin and the painted madman, that ancient clown of the circus. What does this mean and why is this a growing trend?
In many ways the clown has always stood for sex. Not just fucking, but he stands philosophically for license and hedonism. He eats like crazy, and everything about him is bigger than life after all – even his shoes are extra big, and those jokes about what it means when a man wears big shoes are not new things. It is not hard to imagine the big shoed clown dropping his big pants — and they have to be that big for him — to reveal a massive, dangling, epically sized dick. And this is exactly the kind of thing one might expect to see in a free porn film from the clown fetish.
Of course clown props can be used for all kinds of things. Red noses could be affixed to other organs, and clown shoes make for great paddles for loud and silly spankings. In a world where many people take sex way too seriously and most porn stars we see on free porn videos are all seriousness and scowling. It is no wonder that people want to see people being the total opposite, silly, wild, and buffoonish. So hit those websites and begin looking for clown sex films, maybe before one knows it one will be putting on the paint for one’s self and one’s lover to enjoy. Honk that nose for me! You won’t be sorry you did.
Does Beer Make Better Lovers?
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011Beer is not generally considered an aphrodisiac, but according to some men, it helps the cause of great lovemaking. A few seem to believe that it simply relaxes them and allows them to be more romantic and at ease. Others actually believe that it gives them better performance and staying power. Anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that women generally do not agree with this assessment: Consumption of large amounts of beer does not make great lovers.
First of all, too much beer can make it more likely that a guy can’t get there at all. It can change the personality enough that a guy is mostly unappealing to the opposite sex. If he is loud and annoying, how close is he going to get to the pussy? If he drinks too much and can’t manage to show up for his date, he’s SOL for that, too. It may be helpful if both parties have been drinking. That way, whether there’s good sex, bad, sex, or no sex may matter less overall.
One can’t vouch for the physiology of every individual, so it could be possible that for some man out there, beer does help him to stay hard longer. Smoking pot may also make some drummer in the world a better player, but reports from most bands still seem to hold that this is mostly in the mind of the pothead drummer who says it. For the beer-drinking guys, they may manage to keep it up, but they are just as likely to fall victim to the ailment affectionately known as ‘whiskey dick.’ Whiskey is not the only beverage that can keep a guy flaccid rather than at the ready.
Guys should remember that it isn’t only a handsome face, a nice ass, or a big, stiff dick that is going to attract a woman or keep her around. Personality does count. A little social drinking here and there is fine and well within the realm of reason. The idea that drinking multiple pints every time a guy gets ready to do the wild thing doesn’t make such sense. A guy who drinks too much can dull his personality. Not very interesting, let alone rude or intoxicated, is not going to get a guy laid.
The Disembodied Pussy
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
Men only ever become pussy whipped because they want to.
Straight boys are fascinated in a womans vagina almost to the exclusion of all else-expect friction-and this chalice of womanhood has been celebrated in art, music, free porn, and literature as much as the phallus that fits inside it. Other female body parts may fascinate the straight guy, even gat man have been known to take notice of a firm high shelf of breasts or a nice swaying buttocks, still it is the vagina that ultimately has the most pull.
But over the time of a straight man’s life the cunt, vaja-jay, hairpie-whatever it is to be called-becomes less of a fascination, less something women can hold out from their partners or wield with impunity.
Because over time, men realize there is a woman attached to that pussy.
It takes a man a while but he does come around. First he has to get his mind off fucking. He has to realize that the fact that his dick is hard is truly only fascinating to him! Hopefully from this ephifany he learns to care about and subsequently please his bed partner, whomever he or she happens to be. Lastly, the man might grow to the point where he stops objectifying, or at least tempers his need to objectify, body parts to the exclusion of the person who sports a pair of breasts or a cute ass. And then, the very thing women wish men would do more often-notice them as a whole-renders a woman less powerful.
If a man begins to notice the whole woman, not just her ass, tits and that deep well of her mystery her vagina, then the woman no longer has the mystery of her parts to hold over her man. Men who wish to be controlled by the cunt can still be, but that is a self-imposed slavery to a body part most adult men will not coddle. Seasoned guys will no longer worship a womans parts simply because they have grown to the point where they recognize a woman is a sum of her parts. Sure, guys are still set-up to see first and fit the piece into the whole later, but the pieces become less important as men grow older.
Or if not, they stay ready and waiting to be pussy whipped just like they want to be.
Fashion Mistakes That Are Keeping You From Getting Laid
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
Men are interesting creatures. More so than we’re given credit for. For instance, instead of a guy taking some time to develop a better sense for what additional style he can use in order to get him some more ass, he would rather empty his wallet at a bar for a chick who looks like a porn star and is only going to use him for drinks to she can find the liquid courage to approach the guy who looks very fashionable. Sure, you’ve gotten laid a few times, but you could actually more capable of getting more booty then you think. Here are five male fashion mistakes that will leave your dick in your hand at the end of the night:
Sideways hat: If you’re not in the tenth grade you need to stop wearing your hat anywhere but to the front. Shop to find a hat that compliments the shape of your head. A Yankee fitted hat is a sure win and tells the ladies you are classic and fashionable.
Short sleeve button down: There are only two people who can get away with the short sleeve button down and that’s Michael Bolton from Office Space and Dwight Schrute from The Office. For everyone else, there is nothing funny or cool about your off white attire. If you really like to short sleeve button down, try instead a full length sleeve button down and then fold the sleeves up to your elbows.
Hair with too much gel: Although Pauly D is making some serious cash from his gravity defying style, you must understand that before the show, he wasn’t impressing anyone outs of his small guido community. Instead, keep your hair lightly styled while clean and shaped on the edges.
Affliction: This may be the most fool proof way to commit social status suicide. You will look like a tool and everyone will think so. So, just don’t wear one.
Matching too well: If your shoes, hate, belt, undershirts, and jacket are all the same color your throwing up red flags. If they feel you care more about matching then them, you will never get laid.
Follow all these tips guys and you will be sure to get laid. Well, maybe not for sure, but you will have a better shot at it.
Pink Viagra
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
With the astounding popularity behind Viagra, it is no surprise that the drug industry would soon look for ways to provide women with the same type of ‘benefits’. And it is exactly that quest that motivated film maker Liz Canner to come up with Orgasm, Inc. The much buzzed about documentary that touches upon the pharmaceutical rat race to receive FDA approval on the so-called “pink Viagra”. It seems as though women will finally get the chance to deal with female sexual dysfunction (FSD), something that is seldomly brought to light but very much real.
However, too many people are still uncertain as to what that entails. After all, male sexual dysfunction is very easily targeted, while FDS can be a lot harder to pinpoint. For example, identifying sex related problems such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation is quite common – all it takes is some objective observation. On the other hand, identifying sexual dysfunction in women is entirely different. Let’s just say that not having a dick makes things that much harder.
When trying to diagnose a man with sexual dysfunction, there is one simple question to be asked. If he is capable of reaching an orgasm, he is most likely healthy. If he can’t, he is probably dealing with some sort of sexual dysfunction. It’s pretty much black and white. Given the known rate that about 75% of women are not capable of climaxing through intercourse alone, diagnosing any sort of FSD becomes that much harder. A report from the Journal of Urology gave away a few common signs of FSD that will be sure to help those who are still uncertain. Some of them include: no interest in sex, phobic avoidance of anything sexual (including things like free porn), lack of libido, extreme difficulty in reaching an orgasm and/or any sort of genital pain.
If you ask me, the majority of these “symptoms” could be easily solved through proper communication, a change of partner, some lube and a sex toy or two. As the documentary shows, the main drive behind pharmaceutical companies who are trying to push this “pink Viagra” to go onto the market are mainly interested in money. Now if only more people were smarter to realize that.
Blame It On Tabasco
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011If you’ve ever needed a good excuse to jack off in public without the assistance of free porn, well here it is: Tabasco sauce. Peculiar, I know – but allow me to explain: Rafael Escamilla, a 50 year-old Florida native was on board a flight to Idaho when he had the bright idea of whipping our his package for a bit of fowl play. Unsurprisingly enough, the poor 17 year-old girl next to him caught sight of his lack of shame and immediately reported him to a flight attendant. Upon landing Escamilla was immediately apprehended by authorities. However, he instead that the entire ordeal was nothing but a huge misunderstanding. According to him, he was fondling his Johnson not as a means of inducing an orgasm, but he claimed to have spilled Tabasco sauce of his package; which made it burn. Clever.
Now, before I knock this story off as complete and utter rubbish, I can’t help but wonder what would actually happen if I actually got Tabasco on my poor willy. Sure, wipping out my dick in public sounds rather drastic, but until I get hot sauce all over it, how do I know it’s not a matter or life or death? Alright, perhaps I’m exaggerating a little.
Upon further inspection, turns out good ol’ Escamilla didn’t have a single trace of hot sauce of his member. Nor was he carrying a bottle of Tabasco with him – and we all know that’s not part of standard inflight meals. If you ask me, I think the guy was yet another pervert who sat down next to a pretty girl and simply couldn’t contain himself. Tabasco sauce my ass. Any man who thinks it’s ‘ok’ to expose himself mid-flight – in front of a minor nonetheless – deserves to be locked up and kept far, far away from society.
And for those who are curious about what would actually happen if one was to sprinkle his penis with Tabasco, take this little excerpt I found online. It should tell you everything you need to know before attempting to try it out for yourself: “Initially there was nothing, until slowly a pain started. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to release a fresh batch of tears”. And this is coming from some guy who’s into S&M, so take it for all it’s worth.
The Ass Youve Seen A Thousand Times
Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
For men, each time they have sex is like a new time. Sex, and for that matter porn, are less quantitative then qualitative for men and their responses. The male mind can simply go back to the well over and over countless times, to view something that arouses it. A man might simply love his wife’s nipples and though having seen them too many times to be able to count, will still be transfixed by the sight, feel and texture of her nipple and areola every single time he sees them. Being a man he will never tire of that which fascinates and arouses him. Much like a child that needs to reinforce learning by repetition, a man needs to feed his sense-and his sense of sight most of all-by gazing at that that he is attracted to over and over again.
This is why men are often tagged with the pejorative of objectifying women when in fact what is happening most times – or even on a first date – is that a man is locking into what he finds so alluring and enjoying in his partner, their lips, tits, ass, even another cock to the exclusion of all else. He immerses his sight and attention and enjoys the piece of pieces for what they are and not how they relate to their lover as a whole.
Whether he is gay, bi or straight a man will never of his stimulants, and if they are visual they will end up being even more arresting.
This is why pleasing a man in bed really is so very easy. First of all, a mans genitals exist outside his body, they are easier to stimulate by touch then a womans. But ad into the mix the way a mans sight so easily leads him to spin his wheels over the same object or body part any mans lover knows all they have to do is satisfy a mans sense of obsessive sight, touch a mans dick a time or two and hell be soon in orgasmic nirvana.
Its not so much that the male mind is simpler then the feminine one. Its not so much that women rely more on their emotions to fuel their libido, while a man can stick his cock into any warm hole. Men certainly can be less emotionally attached then women and their intimacy building often takes a different course, but for a man, being led by visual stimuli he has seen over and over again is a form of intimacy and the very best way for a man to be aroused.
Christmas Presents That Will Not Get You Laid
Tuesday, December 21st, 2010They’re pulling out all the stops this year and there are some pretty outrageous christmas presents out there that wont do you any good! I don’t know about you, but I’m less concerned with family and turkey during Christmas, and a lot more focused on getting laid. So, if you feel the same type of Christmas spirit as I do, check out these Christmas gifts that WONT get you laid.
Mistletoe Underwear
If you hear some bells ringing and you don’t know where it’s coming from, it could be from a dude wearing a mistletoe thong! Some guys are just doing it all wrong this season and wearing one of these things is a definite factor in not getting you any action this Christmas season.
The Cookie Sutra
The Karma Sutra book illustrated with cookies isn’t something that will necessarily get anyone one in the mood.
Babeland Blowjob Expert Kit
This is basically the equivalent of giving your girl a vacuum for Christmas, except for the fact that you want her to be the vacuum.
Candy Cane G String
The only thing that this Christmas present is going to do is creep everyone out.
Adult Mistletoe
This gift comes with the mistletoe and the condom. Just like the packaging says, “you never know what a kiss will lead to!”
“I’m a ho ho ho” T-shirt
I’m sure your girl will not appreciate you giving her a shirt that says she’s a ho.
Flashing Pecker Santa Hat
It’s the fastest way to spot a dick head, and therefore will not get you laid!
Lip Locked Lesbians Ornament
Two naked girls making out on a christmas ornament may not be the best way to inform your girl that you want her to have a three-some.
“Santa’s Little Slut” T-shirt
There is no woman out there who appreciates being called a slut, even the chicks on free porn don’t like it!
Sexy Penis and Boobie Stockings
Your girl wakes up to find a big, red fury dick and set of tits hanging by the fireplace with care. You’re not getting any action today.
So, take note guys, if you want your Christmas to be really special this year, do not buy any of these gifts!
The Most Bizarre Dicks In History
Friday, December 17th, 2010While penises can go anywhere from big and small to thick and thin, other’s are simply out of this world – and not just in free porn. Despite these carriers of unusual dicks being far and few, their stories are carried out in history like true legends of the past. Below, we’ll cover some of the most unusual dicks of all time. Brace yourselves, some of these gentlemen are packing a lot more than just your average rod.
The Man With Double Dicks – No, I’m not making this up. Back in 1863, a man by the name of Juan Baptista dos Santos was born with two penises. But that’s not all. Suffering from diphallia, he also came equipped with three scrotums, and a third leg – which extended from the same area. In fact, his third leg had eight toes and two heels. Bringing a whole new meaning to the term “package”, Santos’ penises were also fully functional. He could pee from either and get double erections if necessary. How’s that for a visual?
The Ten Year Erection – Charles Chick Lennon, a 68 year-old man had a ten year-old erection after a penile implant surgery went terribly wrong. But that didn’t mean it was all fun, games and orgasms. Unable to do everyday activities such as riding a bike, wearing fitted trousers or swimming, Lennon became a recluse and eventually sued the doctor who messed up his penis. As a result, he won $400,000.
The Man Who Split His Penis In Two – Carl Carrol became something of a legend after infamously splitting his dick in two. And this was before the age of body modification. After being questioned over his outrageous act, he had this to say: “My decision to surgically remodel my genitals was deliberate, of deep satisfaction to me, highly exciting, sexually adventurous, and erotically exhilarating”. I guess there’s someone for everything.
The Penis Blob – Mark, a former male gigolo, found himself lacking in the girth department. His solution? Injecting saline into his penis and scrotum until he found himself with a 24 inch dong. He now refers to his dick as “The Blob”. I sense a horror/porno flick stemming out of this one.