In hilarious news, it turns out religion is much more dangerous for you than porn. At least, on the Internet it is. Symantec has just released its Internet Security Threat Report which outlines all of the major threats, hacks, and related statistics for the past year. And, well, it turns out those religious followers have been very naughty boys and girls. Either that, or they have no idea how to keep their sites clean.
Amy Fisher making her official entrance into the porn industry was about as shocking as Rosie O’Donnell stealing a child’s Mars Bar on Halloween. In other words, not very. What is shocking however, is that Dreamzone Entertainment has signed her to a 4 film contract that will begin with The Making of Amy Fisher: Porn Star.
What we’d like to know is: who wants to see a woman who used to fuck Joey Buttafuoco get slammed on film? Never mind the fact that she spent 7 years in prison for shooting Buttafuoco’s wife, or that she’s now 36 – her 36 DD breasts just don’t make up for her having been with a man as trashy as Buttafuoco (even if it was in the early 90′s).
Perhaps Fisher is supposed to appeal to those who like their women with an edge. Clearly she can handle a gun, and her body was hardened in prison – who knows, maybe she engaged some girl on girl orgasm generation? Now that’s something we would pay to see. The rest better be free internet porn however, or we’re not watching. There are too many high quality porn productions out there to waste one’s time on Amy Fisher.
Even Fisher seems to understand society’s obsession with sex. She’s quoted as saying, “Our society loves sex. It feels so good and we should enjoy it. Sex is beautiful, powerful, and simply put, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can not do with my own private parts. This time, I get to make the choices on what kind of movies I want to make.” Of course, Fisher is referring to the sex tape she claims she didn’t authorize in 2008. However it’s debatable that she was an innocent party in her sex tape’s release, especially considering her pornographic aspirations since. We just hope she keeps her thighs fit and her homicidal tendencies in check.
In the years after Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee got freaky on film, celebrity sex tapes became all the rage. In 2003, One Night In Paris became a porn sensation, and changed the sex industry forever. However, with high quality free internet porn at the public’s fingertips these days, and a glut of celebrity sex tapes flooding an already saturated market, have sex tapes become obsolete? We don’t think so. Here’s a few celebrities who could spice up the sex tape market:
Jessica Simpson:
We don’t care who Jess is dating, or how fat she gets. This girl is hot, and a sex tape would be an opportunity to see her ride reverse cowgirl – something worth holding out for. Yeehaw!
Katy Perry:
Ever since she confessed to kissing a girl on her debut album, Katy Perry’s tits have fascinated young and old music fans alike. Never mind the fact that a Perry sex tape would likely involve Russell Brand, it would be a small price to pay to see Perry in all her glory.
Erin Andrews:
America’s sexiest sportscaster seems like she’d be a freak between the sheets. Not only is she the fantasy of adolescent teen sports geeks everywhere, but she was filmed naked at one point in her career (but claimed it was against her wishes). Whether her sex scandal denials are true or not, some high quality Erin Andrews porn would spice up the sex tape industry!
Angelina Jolie:
Assuming we’d get a sex tape where Angie was fucking Brad Pitt, this could be the biggest celebrity couple to ever be recorded on film. With massive production values to match Angie and Brad’s star power, this would be a must see for much of the universe. In fact, we suggest shooting the video into space to give other life forms an opportunity to see the best looking couple in the world doing what they do best.
So my wife and I are watching Chelsea Lately last night, as we often do, and Chelsea makes an off-the-cuff comment responding to round-tabler Scott Wolf’s off-the-cuff comment about Chelsea side-kick Chuy’s involvement in porn. I looked at my wife and said “What the fuck? Are they being serious? Why don’t I know about this…?!”
I know my attention span is short, but some of you may recall that Stoya was starting to take a rather drastic edge away from Sasha Grey in regards to my ridiculous porn-crushes, and then suddenly she just disappeared! Where the hell is Stoya and what has she done with my fantasy fuck canvas?
And no, this story does not feature Johnny Depp or Aaron G.
Ahhhh piracy in porn. Why pay for something when you can get it for free? That has been the question to plague industry cattle reigners for the last 15 years. When pontificating upon adult entertainment and its marriage with the internet, one must remember that porn figured out how to make money on the web before anyone else did. So it stands to reason that we should continue to lead the trend forever.
Our favorite IT girl Sasha Grey is in the news again. But this time it has nothing to do with porn.
Sitting here in the aftermath of the Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Awards, I want to extend my most vociferous wishes of congratulation to two of my favorite porn actresses: Kimberly Kane and Tori Black, winners of the Best Actress and Female Performer of the Year awards respectively.
Kimberly earned her Best Actress award for her performance in The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody, while Tori, the big winner of the night (she brought home 5 awards), stole the highly coveted Female Performer of the Year.
The results of a Department of Sociology at the University of Nevada study about porn and the fans consumption of, and beliefs about, have been released. The authors included Daniel Sahl, M.A., and Crystal Jackson, M.A., Ph.D. students in the Department of Sociology at UNLV, and Dr. Barbara Brents, associate professor of sociology at UNLV. The results are far from surprising, but also very satisfying.
No, not in that cheesy Hallmark kinda way!
Looking for something really special to do? Then jump on a plane this heartsday and check out a bonerfide Detroit Valentines staple: The Dirty Show!