Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

Become the Woman of Your Dreams

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Have you ever wanted to feel like a real woman, without the trouble of nasty surgery? Well, you’re in luck, because now there’s the Seamless FemSkin III, that will allow our friends of the transgendered variety to actually transform into the natural shape of a woman. This may seem disturbing to those not in the market for gender reassignment, but I have to credit the designers of this product for coming up with such a fascinating product that mimics the female form so closely you might think you were in a free porn flick.

The FemSkin III is the most advanced, anatomically correct, female latex suit on the market. It fits snugly over your body, from ankle to neck to shoulder, transforming it into one sweet lady. It comes in tinted natural skin tones and contour pads to adapt to your own complexion and shape. The suit is specially molded to give you that sexy shape and perfect female form, complete with D-cup tits, a raised and round ass, and, most importantly a beautifully shaped cunt. No matter what your size, this will stretch to fit your shape and won’t tear or stretch out.

Man has walked on the moon, and now he can piss through a vagina!  This suit has a beautifully engineered pouch kit, which is placed over the penis and the catheter rolls down the shaft of your cock and has a tube that flows down to a hole in your new pussy. You want more? Well bend over – because theres a built in latex rectum to give you a penetrable anus!

It seems they really have thought of everything…

How to Have Marathon Sex

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

A mind blowing orgasm each night is something that most of us only dream of while we’re busy being DJ Diddles. Could you possibly be the man whose name she screams again and again, all night long? If you don’t yet have the stamina of King Kong, or the skills of Gandalf the Great, you are in luck. Unfortunately, having sex all night is not as easy as showing up with a pile of lube and a rock solid cock from warming up to porn. So here are some tips!

Sexy Snacks

Sexy snacks does not include hiding a drumstick between your shoulder cleavage. Fantastic sex can burn a lot of calories, so more than likely you will need some energy to keep up an ambitious fuck marathon. Whipping cream, strawberries, bananas and pudding can all be a sexy light snack to give you another hour of power.

Make sure you feed each other as erotically as possible, and stay close to your sexy lady, too much distance can kill you chances of having sex immediately afterwards.

Saucy Shower

A hot shower can revitalize and refresh us at the worst of times. Cleanliness offers one benefit that you may not have considered – it creates less inhibition. You don’t want to wonder why it smells like a warm fish market as you make your way between her legs. Oral sex should always be an option during sex, and showering between multiple sex sessions can allow you to suck and fuck all night comfortably and cleanly.

Caress and massage your women, and make her feel relaxed. Don’t sit in the fetal position crying like usual, stand behind her, soap her up and wash her down.

Avoid Over Exertion

The secret to multiple sex sessions is to set a pace that you can keep up. Fast and furious might work when you have ten minutes of spare time before you go to work, however the aim is to last a while longer.

Slow and steady

If you want to cross the finish line in your sex marathon, you should practice these tips. The period after a sex session can be used as a refreshing break before you hit the sheets once more. A little bit of planning might make you a legend among the ladies, and one fit mother fucker.

New Google Feature Censoring Adult Content

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

“With great power comes great responsibility.” The wise words of Uncle Ben ring true for the super power that is Google. Google is a powerful tool that can be used for great things. Google instant search gives you real time results as you type – predicting your queries. Unless your searching for sex related things that is.

Earlier today, google launched instant search to the US, with an international release coming later next week. The search shifts will deliver results while you type, no kicking or hitting enter will be required. Simply typing the letter w will bring up weather forecasts, or the search you’re most likely seeking.

However, those of you sex searching all day wont be able to type in “tits” for example. Only a empty blank page will greet you, not the joy of our Dickipedia entry on “tits”. It doesn’t matter if your safe search is disabled, the instant results simply censor out naughty content.

When Google was asked about this feature earlier today at a question session, the director of product management said the friendly feature is being used to protect children. Limiting offensive content will allow the majority of users receive information that wont be diluted with sexual content.

It’s a smart feature for the site and will likely keep seven year olds interested in the pussy cat dolls out of trouble. Those of us who are adamant on finding free porn will still be able to do so with extreme ease, so don’t get your panties up in a knot. The decision to exclude naughty words might eventuality be remedied with another censor feature, for now though us pervs will have to continue to hit the old reliable enter key before going on our porn hunt.

How to do Nude Beaches

Friday, September 10th, 2010

Around the world you can find nude beaches full of people whom let their freedom flag fly. A naturist is a name given to someone with a penchant for social nudity, however you may not be quite the naturist yet.

A chance to stay beachside near a clothing optional B&B can reveal some of the joys of letting go of your inhibitions. Here you’ll find some of the top tips for letting it all hang out at nudist beaches. It’s the most fun you’ll have with your clothes off besides sex.

If you want to be a bit closer to nature, or simply get rid of those tan lines you’ve got to swap the bathing suit for your birthday suit. Drop your trousers and let your wang hang. So you know for future reference, the flaunt it rule does not always apply in all cases. If you get a hard on for some nice tits beside you, its generally unacceptable to show off your new found friend woody.

You will need some confidence for this thing if you are a little skeptical of rampant exhibitionism. It may feel wild and liberated, however nudist beaches are not the best place to practice pole dancing or yoga poses. Unless you truly enjoy showing off those giant tits, or perhaps that giant cock.

If you’re lucky enough, you might find yourself sitting beside some fine young hunnies, however this is not an open invitation to hop on her right on the beach. Sex isn’t uncommon on a nudist beach, however a free porn show is not generally accepted by the large portion of people there. Just because you’re half way there, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of the situation. There is always the ocean.

Before you start to wander off the beach, pay attention to the people around you, not the entire beach may be nudist. You don’t want to end up having an awkward confrontation with beach patrol in a clothing area of the beach.

If you’ve gone so far to go nude at the beach, you’re likely feeling liberated and one with the world. If you find yourself stripping naked when the sun shines through the office window, it’s probably time you pack up and move to a commune.

The Ins and Outs of Dating in the Sex Industry

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

So you want to date within the sex industry. A risky proposition to be sure, but there are benefits. The first thing you need to keep in mind is that you need to set a goal. What do you hope to achieve by dating a stripper or porn star? A few nights out with a hottie on your arm? Sex? True Love?

Once you’ve determined what you want out of the relationship, take a look at our dos and don’t of dating a certified whore. If you don’t follow these points, you could be in for a world of hurt.

DO remember that you’re not special. This girl has 100′s of men to choose from per day, and it’s her job to make you feel like you’re the only man she’s interested in. So bear in mind that she’s playing the odds with you – but that you probably don’t have what it takes to keep up with her.

DON’T call her without announcing your name. Strippers and porn stars have cell phones full of men’s names and numbers, so remember to remind her of who you are, unless you like being embarrassed.

DO carry a lot of cash on you at all times. The sex industry is rich, and if you’re not willing to shell out, you’re dating the wrong kind of girl. In fact, it will probably take you a few dates before she fucks you, and you can expect those dates to cost you more than just renting a hooker.

DON’T ask her about her tattoos and fake tits unless you want to look like a wannabe, or worse yet, another one of her customers.

DO remember to confiscate the battery to her cell phone at some point during the evenings you’re out with her, or it will ring off the hook with other men who are interested in the exact same thing as you are. You don’t want to run the risk that one of them makes her a better offer before you’re finished your date.

DON’T go see her at work unless you have to. It’s best to avoid watching your girl taking off her clothes for other men – unless that’s something you’re into.

If you’ve come though these dos and don’ts undaunted, there may be hope for your love life with a sex worker yet. Remember though, unless you love competition, a normal girl is probably the way to go – as long as she likes it in the ass on a consistent basis.

Facial Flashbacks: When Nice Girls Get Dirty

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Have you ever sat down to watch a porn movie and wondered: why have I never fucked my girlfriend like the big boned stud on my computer screen? It’s a good question, and a scenario that most men experience at some point in their lives, especially when they want to embrace their sexuality in a full and fulfilling way. The trouble is, most North American men are stuck treating their partners as friends rather than lovers, and this sets a dangerous precedent in relationships.

The line between being friends and lovers is where facial cumshots come in. There’s no better way to let your partner know you’re serious about getting dirty than busting your load off over her waiting lips. Sure, there’s a measure of dominance and taboo associated with facials, but this is key: it keeps your sexual chemistry from fading, and adds an element of overt dirtiness to an otherwise vanilla relationship.

With this said, it’s important to keep your sexual identity separate from your day to day interactions with your partner. This will help you fuck like a porn star in the bedroom, and stay friends outside of it. Besides facials, try rimming your girl until she lets you stick your cock in her ass. Make sure you use lots of lube and get her moaning – there’s nothing like an anal orgasm to put the spice back in your jalapeno pepper.

So go forth and fuck like the dirty debutant you are! We all have a little Lexington Steele in us, and your relationship might depend on you letting your inner Lex out!

The Truth About Strippers

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Strippers tend to have a stigma attached to their profession that is far from the truth. Most of us want to believe that strippers are drug addled nymphomaniacs who are only able to grip a pole on and off the stage.

A study done by the University of Leeds in Britain is challenging the status quo that is largely composed of stereotypes. Over 300 strippers took part in the survey being conducted by researchers, and they have uncovered some surprising information that would illuminate the reasons why a woman would want to dance naked for a living. Some of the findings are expected in the industry, though other facts have been revealed that might make you think twice about getting a lap dance.

They’re Educated

One of the most surprising findings was that a quarter of the ladies surveyed had a university degree. Nearly twenty percent of the dancers are using money to fund further education while completing undergrad or postgrad degrees. Some university graduates, particularly art degrees, had trouble finding work and turned to stripping as a way to sustain themselves while they continue their careers. Instead of a minimum wage job, these girls make fucking bank.

They don’t just get naked

The obvious job that strippers have is taking their clothes off, however researchers have heard from almost all the ladies that 80 percent of the job requires an ability to sell themselves. The ability to talk to their customers is what separates a good stripper from a great one. To take home the most cash while doing the least work requires some smooth talking.

They like their job

The large majority of the strippers said that they were legitimately happy with their jobs. This satisfaction rate confronts the idea that all strippers live miserable lives – full of sexual abuse and desperation. The study found that the flexibility and variables accompanying the major benefits of the job greatly outweighed the negative attributes.

They were not forced

Perhaps the largest negative stereotype of stripping is the fact most men believe they were forced into the occupation. The study found that almost all the women made decisions to become a stripper, and found that the income and flexibility of the job were benefits that made the position attractive. Most dancers make hundreds a night, simply flaunting their tits and ass to horny men. Strippers spend few hours working, make much more money and tend to find an establishment that treats them well.

Christian Sex Shop? Yes, It Exists

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

As sex is becoming a more and more accepted topic of discussion, what once was taboo for some, is now becoming mainstream. Still it’s surprising that a new sex shop has opened whose patrons are married christians. This exclusive online sex shop is targeting christian married couples interested in putting down the bible for some anal bead play.

The selection of products at the store are an interesting medley of christian influenced sex toys. The “Like a Virgin Kit” is a step by step vaginal tightening kit in case your women was not pure from the get go as she promised. Jesus lovers can choose from a wide selection of masturbation sleeves – including the popular “Head Honcho”. Inside of the sleeves are “three suction cavities, and as you stroke the Head Honcho up and down, it creates a pleasurable vacuum.”

The masturbation devices are said to provide a helpful alternative to when the a married couple cannot have sex, say divorce or Sunday. Couples who are trying to have sex however, can choose from a saintly selection of condoms, dildos, and lubes. Those with premature ejaculation troubles can find some help from the lord in the form of a gel. The sex aids as they call them, are a perfect addition to any holy happy home.

No sex shop is legitimate till it has a really naughty section, and a christian shop is not be left out. Under special orders, a sexy velcro kit can ordered, for your introduction to bdsm. The sinful sex kit contains a blind fold, feather, velcro straps and tethers. A light bondage kit that Jesus will surely give to juicy thumbs up for.

A plethora of pussy accessories are available such as crotchless panties, remote controlled vibrating panties and even a lovers thong with stroker beads. Non piercing nipple jewelry and penis candy provide a kosher christian alternative.

Those christians who need a little extra forgiveness of their sins can purchase a book that instructs them how to use the toys “the christian way”. If there is a christian way to fuck a women in the ass while she is gagged and bound to a cross, then so be it. Just make sure you buy the book, so you really understand how to do it properly.

The Madonna of Orgasm: Soon to be a Church

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Church ministers are usually the last people you would expect to praise orgasms at the podium. If you have ever been to a church where the sermon started off “And God said to Abraham, thou wilt spread thy seed all over her tits”, you were likely at the peak of your acid trip, screaming at an ice cream box on the street corner outside a Target. Well if you’re ready for the greatest mind fuck of your life, be prepared for the orgasm church in Sweden, something that is being proposed by a legitimate church minister.

In southern Sweden, Lovestad, a battle has been raging to properly register a faith community. Sweden’s Supreme Administrative Court has made the church a slippery fish to handle. The spanish founder and self appointed cardinal of the church, Carlos Bebeacua, has led a campaign for what he hopes will become the first church to praise orgasms as God.

Bebeacua once told tabloid Kvällsposten: “The orgasm is the ultimate feeling of lust, it shouldn’t be limited to ejaculation. You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking ‘Wow!’”

The Madonna of Orgasm, which the church is appropriately called, was focused around painting by Bebeacua that had sparked controversy during the 1992 World Fair in Seville, Spain. Since then, he has committed himself to founding a worship for what he believes is the true god – orgasms.

His bold beliefs have been matched with thundering dick slaps from Sweden’s Financial and Adminstrative Services Agency who refuse to register his application for the church as a religion. The agency has allegedly said that the church’s name would offend Christians, since it was to unconventional and a clear reference to the Virgin Mary.

Bebeacua has garnered support from local Christian communities, including a Church of Sweden Parish priest who welcomed the unconventional religion. Bebeacua also commented that the word Madonna, is literally translated to “my lady” and does not reference the Virgin Mary.

The success of the church is still wavering as the administrative court has ruled its name offensive to religious groups, and to the general religious proposals allegedly commenting that they “cause offense not only in the broad groups of the population that have Christian roots, but also in society as a whole.”

Those of us who know a good fuck is the closest we’ve ever been to heavenly bliss would be happy to throw this guy a bone, even if all he wants to do is get it off.

Orgasm.com: The #1 Porn Site on the Web

Monday, August 30th, 2010

There are a variety of porn sites online that claim to offer free porn from high quality sources, yet most of it seems to end up being largely made up of grainy 80′s footage of spangled blondes on patios. Those of you who still rock out with your cock out every morning to Van Halen could probably care less about the new porno. However, porn sites like Orgasm.com are supplying those hungry sex deprived individuals a nasty new selection of the hottest fuck action around.

Ranging in a variety of categories, you can find anything from black monster cocks, asian midgets and indian foot fucking. There is a plethora of pussy POV’s that will make you wipe the pussy juice right off your own tongue. It’s a wild and wonderful world online, and Orgasm.com is one step ahead of the pack.

The ability to quickly scroll through thousands of videos using detailed keywords, and categories can help the most finicky fucker find the videos that will make them blow a hole through their levis. There is always a great addition to the site every couple of days so that those who are regular visitors won’t get bored. The ability to keep up to date with the porn industry might seem like a characteristic of a hardcore porn junkie, but there are a fucking army of anal devourers that need their updated videos of the highest quality gapes.

If you are in the mood for more extreme porn, you can find that too. Fetish categories will leave you slightly scared and stimulated, depending on how sick who consider your tastes. High budget studios such as Brazzers and porn stars have lent their material to Orgasm.com, filling it with top notch fuck films. They have even created a ‘do it yourself’ porn program, that allows you to create some funky shit. Don’t spend your night trying to find better sites, because this is where its at. The guys at Orgasm.com try they hardest to make you your hardest, and its not an easy job.