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Amenorrhoea


Amenorrhoea is when a woman does not get her period. This can either be due to a late start to a first period (if the girl has not gotten her period by age 16), or if a period does not occur for at least 6 month.

Let’s begin by discussing what a period is. You may only know it happens once and month; it’s the cause of bitchy girlfriends and wives; and you know that if it doesn’t happen, you’re screwed.

A period happens once per month (or cycle – 28 days) because when a woman isn’t fertilized (condom, you pulled out or are shooting blanks, etc.) her body says “ah fuck” and sheds the lining that was building in preparation for her baby. This comes out in the form of blood. We won’t get into anything more gory than that. She shoves in a tampon and you hold your breath until it’s over.

Amenorrhoea can happen when a woman is pregnant. During this 9+ month duration, she does not get her period. This is because there’s a baby in the womb and the uterine lining does not shed. Even when she is breast-feeding, she has amenorrhoea. Score for you in the first few months, but once she’s in her third trimester, doctors say she shouldn’t get plowed anymore.

Amenorrhoea can also occur when a girl loses weight too quickly or doesn’t have sufficient fat on her. Think Asian gymnasts – they’re super tight but also flat as brick walls and just as cold. Her body goes into a kind of survival mode and knows it can’t support a baby on those prepubescent boy hips anyhow. If this is your thing, go to it. No mess and no fuss – no breasts either!

1. I had amenorrhoea when I went on my diet – saved money on food AND tampons!

2. My girlfriend has amenorrhoea right now but won’t get a pregnancy test. I think I’m totally screwed, man.

RELATED TERMS:

Menstruation 

Pussy

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