Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Horizontal Academics Goes Viral

Monday, October 18th, 2010

If you’ve had any sort of online presence within the past week, chances are you’ve come across the whole ‘Duke Fuck List’ shenanigan. For those who haven’t, allow me to break it down for you. Karen Owen – an alum from Duke University – created a “Senior Honors Thesis” in the form of a 41-page Power Point presentation. The title? An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics. In it, she goes into detail about the thirteen men she had sex with over the course of her studies. Not leaving much to the imagination, each lay was presented by their full names and a clarifying picture.

Each of her encounters were described – in detail – from the moment they met, to the point where they had sex. The evaluation was based on a variety of different factors. These included: sexual performance (aggressiveness, penis size and creativity) and status (looks and athleticism). On a slide titled “Background”, Owen states, “In this Duke study, we used data from four years at Duke University to create evaluation materials for such encounters and applied these criteria to the evaluated Subjects hopefully allowing for future maximization of enjoyment of such procedures.” In a nutshell, she means that the only reason she described her sexual experiences was in order to provide a point of reference for future girls looking to hook up with said men.

Owen claims to not have planned for the document to be made public. Despite only sending it out to three of her friends, once one decided to pass it on, the rest came as a sort of domino effect. Since its wide-spread release, many of the men featured on her report have spoken out in frustration. Some have even asked that websites remove their name and picture from the web. Surely, lawsuits should follow (though none have been filed as of yet). In an interview with the website Jezebel, Owen said, “I regret it with all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that are mentioned on that.” Since the incident, she has also cancelled all of her social media profiles, thus leaving angry men and media outlets alike out in a man hunt.

Tease Me

Monday, October 18th, 2010

“Vance,” Jeanne admonished her husband, “the kids are gonna hear.”

Her husband continued to ram his index finger in and out of her fat pussy.

He smiled as his wife bit her lower thick lip and said: ”In another minute I’ll be begging you to fuck me.”

Vance spat an evil chuckle. ”That my dear, is just what I had in mind,” he said.

Twisting his finger harder, his wife bore up on the bed and whimpered. Her pussy was just so silky, in fact Vance was almost sure Jeanne was wetter now, seven years into their marriage, then she ever was when they were teenagers fighting their lusts in the backseat of his car.

Man, could their sex get even better, he wondered.

Could this get any better? Jeanne thought as she opened up even more for her husband.

This heated game the couple played almost every night: Jeanne would purposely undress next to the bed so her husband Vance would get an eyeful of tits and ass, and invariably, he wouldn’t resist the temptation to plow her thick pussy with his fingers.

“Are you hard yet,” Jeanne gasped, as Vance fanned his whole hand up into her wet snatch, tickled her gloppy hole as well as tickled her clit with his pinkie.

“What do you think?” he whispered, throwing back the covers to expose his big hard cock

“Fuuuuckkkk, Vance!” Jeanne gasped. “I need it, I need it now.”

“Maybe,” he teased, fingering his wife even harder. “But like you said, we have to be quiet…and we know you can’t be quiet.”

To emphasize the point, Vance brought his fingers together in his wife’s pussy and she groaned and rolled up closer to his cock. Opening her mouth she lean in and gave his shaft one long loving lick.

Vance pulled back, fingered her harder.

“Vance, Vance,” his wife sighed.

“My, my,” he replied, “I do believe little Jeanne is ready.”

“Let me, let me have it.”

“No, no, you’ll get too loud.”

“No Vance,” Jeanne groaned. “Pa…please.”

“I’m not so sure,” the man teased, lie back a bit to show off his thick seven inch cock as his wife rolled her pussy forward on his hand and began to shutter.

“You sure?” he teased her.

“Vance!”

The usual nighttime understanding passed between the couple and Vance took his hand out from his wife, grabbed both her hips and lifted her ever so slowly onto his cock.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, baby,” Jeanne moaned, as she sat on that big cock, let it shoot up inside her, fill her, spilt her and opened her at the same time, made her whole.

“Yes, my sweetheart.” Vance held his breath as that incredible warmth squished down his cock, tickled his balls.

Jeanne collapsed forward onto Vance’s chest as Vance fucked her hard and they fell into their perfect rhythm as…

“Mommy, I heard a noise,” little Suzy said from the other side of their closed bedroom door.

Jeanne and Vance just looked at each other, stuck as they were in their warmth, wetness and need and wondered…which one of them had been too loud?

Quickie Time

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Sometimes a guy just has to get some pussy, no matter what the circumstances. More times than not, a quickie will satisfy all sexual desires, and can be fun and exciting.

Here are 8 awesome locations for a quickie when the blood is running heavy below the waste and you just need to satisfy your urge.

1. Elevator: if going from the 15th floor to the ground level isn’t enough time to get your quickie in, then I suggest stalling the elevator for a few minutes to give you some extra time.

2. Movie theatre: as cliche as it sounds, getting busy in a movie theatre is always fun. They’re the best place to get blow jobs or hand jobs.

3. Back of the club/restaurant: if your girl or some drunk chick for that matter, are feeling horny, go to the darkest part of the room, or even the bathroom, and get it on. Chances are no one will even see or hear you.

4. Stairwell: if your roommates home or you’re at work and you only have 10 minutes to spare, head to the stairwell of the building and go crazy for a few minutes.

5. Car: yes I know it’s not very original, but it is always a great experience. Pull over and pound away in the back seat, or have your girl give you some road head.

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6. Alley: before envisioning a dirty alley with rats and homeless people, picture you thrusting away a girl with a skirt on. Now i bet I have your attention.

7. Office: whether its the babe you’ve been eyeing at work, or your girl shows up in nothing but a trench coat, sex on the office desk makes life that much better.

8. Dressing room: barge into the Gap dressing room with the sexy sales clerk and fuck the shit out of her.

Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Ever dreamed of becoming a porn star? Before you get too excited, don’t think that it’s all about taking off your clothes and doing it doggy-style (and anal, and oral, and cowgirl etc.) for ten hours. Here required traits for those interested in getting into the adult industry. Warning: it’s not for the faint of heart.

1. Look Realistic – Gone are the days when porn stars resembled second-class drag queens. What porn-aficionados want, are girls that look real. Like the girl-next-door they dream of fucking. While implants are certainly acceptable – after all, this is still porn we’re talking about – anything over a D cup can start to look scary.

2. Adequate Tits – While on the subjects of racks, a good pairs of tits is absolutely mandatory. While size doesn’t matter too much, appropriate nipples are a must. Pancake nipps on an A cup? No thanks.

3. No Fear – The bottom line is this: if anal is a no-no in your book, forget about porn. In the adult entertainment industry, experimentation is everything. Start to draw lines over what you can and cannot do and you’ll soon be out of a job. The more you do, the more money you make.

4. Must Enjoy Sex – What good is a job in porn if you don’t like sex? If the idea of multiple orgasms makes your cringe, then perhaps you’d be better suited as a librarian. Just a thought.

5. Be Street Smart - Having a career in porn comes with a hefty does of side-effects. One of them being the constant harassment by “fans” and having to deal with shady producers that may not have your best-interests at heart. Knowing how to pick these people apart and watch your own back is probably one of your best tools towards succeeding in the industry.

6. Keep Yourself Sane – Walking down the wrong path can be quite easy in the world of porn. Between the drugs and wild sex, you run the risk of being a hop and a skip away from ending up in rehab. Or like a total hot mess.

Oct. 14 - Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Halloween Sex Positions

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

They say Christmas is the most wonderful time of they year. I completely disagree. Halloween is by far the best time of year because chicks have an excuse to dress up completely slutty and and they throw all their inhibitions out the window.

Halloween’s original purpose has totally transformed in the past couple of decades and amen for that! The idea of scary has turned into sexy and the only thing scary about Halloween should be the inner demons you release in the bedroom.

The devil inside of you and your partner will be shrieking and moaning all night long, and it won’t be because of a full moon. Try out these Halloween sex positions and you wont be disappointed:

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Tail in the Crypt: You and your partner make your way under your bed, aka the crypt, and start doing some anal play, aka the tail. I’ll leave it up for you to decade whether or not you’d like to annoyingly stimulate your partner with scratches on the back.

The Scarecrow: One partner is strapped to a cross brace and must act as if they have to skeletal system. The other partner gets to do whatever they want to the person tied up. Groping, teasing, prodding, and just about anything else you want.

Night of the Fucking Dead: Both partners start off in a standard missionary position, but once the dick is inside, that’s when things get interesting. Neither partner is allowed to use their arms or legs when fucking eachother. Just like the grunting and struggling zombies in the movie.

Pumpkin Head: Have your partner paint their face with orange and black makeup while you cut a hole in a box to act as the table. Your partner will kneel down with the pumpkin head poking out of the hole. You’ll stand in front , and put a candle, aka your dick, into the mouth of this jack-o-lantern.

Witches’ Brew: Fill a hot tub with brown food coloring, novelty eyeballs, gothic candles, and two slutty drunk chicks you found at the bar. A post witches brew shower is also in the cards.

Now you’re really ready to celebrate Halloween this year. Before you’re ready to get down and dirty, try watching some Halloween porn to get you in the mood.

Anti-Masturbation Contraptions Of The Past

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Masturbation hasn’t always been so popular or easily accepted as it is today(provided it remains confined between closed doors). Products that claimed to prevent you from “self abuse” were all the range in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Here, we take a look at some of the most outrageous – and painful – anti-masturbation contraptions in history.

1. The Jugum Penis – Once upon a time, nocturnal “emissions” were considered to cause a disease called “spermatorrhoea”. While nowadays we understand that this so-called “disease” was really just another word for ‘wet dreams’, men living in the Victorian era were provided with The Jugum Penis, an apparent cure for “spermatorrhoea”. Made out of a metal ring, the device – which resembles a small bear trap – was placed around the base of the penis and held in place by a clip. If a man was to get an erection, the contraption would then snap shut, likely causing a great deal of pain for the “patient”.

2. The Mechanical Sheath – In a nutshell, this device was essentially a chastity belt for men. Positioned over the penis, it was literally impossible to remove without pain or “possible mutilation”. The only way out of this trap, was through a tiny and unique key. Losing it, meant giving up on your sex life altogether.

3. Graham Cracker – Despite still serving as a popular pie crust, Graham Crackers – developed by Sylvester Graham in 1837 – was originally meant to ward off masturbation. Apparently, eating the extremely bland cracker would drastically decrease your lust , thus lowering your “vital fluids”. Now you’ll think twice before eating a s’more.

4. The Bowen Device – Here’s an alternative to shaving you’ll be glad not to have experienced. Despite looking rather tame, The Bowen Device works by clinging to pubic hair. Once the user gets an erection, hairs get ripped out in the process. Razors have never sounded so good.

5. Electric Anti-Masturbation Machine – Unlike what you may think, this contraption wouldn’t necessarily electrocute penises after an erection. Built in France in 1915, it would instead set off an alarm whenever a man had a boner. While I don’t necessarily understand who would volunteer to walk around with a boner announcer, the humiliation aspect alone is sure to have steered them off of masturbating.

Snoring Spoils Sex

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Those of you who are currently in a committed relationship or possibly even have a casual dating partner where sleepovers often occur after late night fucking sessions, you might be interested in the results of a new study that links snoring with ruining sex lives.

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This may prompt a lot of you snorers out there to make a quick visit to the doctor because snoring could potentially lead you to have less sex.

Research commissioned by Fisher and Paykel Healthcare, a leading supplier of systems for people with respiratory problems and the treatment of obstructive sleep, found that 50 percent of women said snoring had damaged a romantic relationship.

And it doesn’t stop here! Snoring doesn’t only hurt you chances of having frequent sex, it also puts the culprit in a position where violent attacks and abuse can occur. 70 percent of women admitted to resorting to violence to stop their partner’s noisy breathing. Many of them said they kicked or elbowed their partners in hopes to get them to stop.

Now, you’re probably wondering what the reasoning behind this study is. Well, I can sum it up for you pretty well. Those of us who don’t snore are feeling physically and emotionally exhausted because of sleep deprivation, therefore can’t perform regular duties, like sex, in their everyday lives. Eventually, the relationship becomes stressful for both partners because one is not sleeping and one is not getting sex!

So, instead of resorting to watching free porn online all day as a substitution, try heading to the doctors. Not only can snoring hurt your physical sex life, but it can later lead to erectile dysfunction.

Bottom line is that nothing good can come out of frequent snoring. Imagine yourself never having sex again! Well, that could happen if you don’t get your shit fixed if you’re a snorer.

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A Home Cooked Meal

Saturday, October 9th, 2010

Zak parked the car in the garage and opened the connecting door to the mudroom. His nostrils were immediately filled with the aroma of roast chicken and rice.

“All right,” he mumbled, “my favorite.”

He popped his head around the wall and caught not only more of that delicious smell but the equally delicious sight of his wife Katie bending down to the stove wearing only a pair of high heeled shoes.

“Mmm, I must have forgotten my apron,” the small Spanish girl said looking over her shoulder and smiling.

Zak was up on his wife, hugging her from behind and pushing Katie from the stove, squeaking her high heels across the floor, and bending Katie forward down across the kitchen table. Katie arched her back and groaned as Zak got his cock out and between her spread thighs. Taking her from behind, he was up into her already soaking pussy in seconds.

“You make me crazy” the short man seethed.

“Yessss,” the woman cried as the big cock entered her hard and she bore down. Katie could feel herself rolling for a fast orgasm, but she found the strength to pull up and free of her husband’s warm thick cock.

“Go clean up,” she scolded the man and spun out of the room.

Five minutes later Zak was at the dining room table, still raging hard from his wife’s tease, but even hungrier from the smells wafting out to him.

The kitchen door opened and Katie emerged with a plate of steaming food dressed in a short French Maid outfit.

Zak stood and helped her place the tray on the table. He kissed his wife hard, released then dipped his head to suckle her big boobs through the outfit’s apron top.

“I thought you were hungry?” Katie snickered. She slid her hand down to her man’s still raging hard-on and unzipped his pants.

“I spent all that time making this nice dinner and all you have on your mind is sex?”

“Katie,” Zak began lifting off her magnificent saliva-drenched front. “Tell me what you want. You know, I’ll do anything.”

Katie smiled, let go her man’s cock, took three steps to her chair, pulled it from the table, sat down and spread her legs. Of course the outfit didn’€™t cover her pussy.

Crawl over here and tongue me, do you think you can do that?”

Zak smiled, knelt, scooted over then buried his face quickly into his wife’s glistening lips.

“Yessssssssssss,” Katie cried as her man lapped at her.

He flattened his tongue between her thick lips and licked her from the bottom of her pussy to the thick nubby ridge of her engorged clit. Up and down up and down Zak worked; he truly was hungry.

“Yessssssssss,” Katie repeated as she felt a wave come up on her. She clenched her little ass in the wicker chair and held off the orgasm she would let loose when she finally allowed this man to enter her again.

“Tongue it, tongue it,” she moaned and Zak followed his wife’s usual order, sat back off her pussy for a second, then dove in with the tip of his tongue straight into her soaked opening.

“Zac,” the girl screamed. Again Katie felt that impending orgasm as she shook her big tits, felt her pussy truly begin to pulsate and looked at her husband with a hunger for more then food in her tiny black eyes.

“Fuck me, fuck me now,” she said, wiggled up off Zak’s now wet face. She kept the orgasm at bay by helping Zak take his cock further out his fly, stretching it, coaxing the man to stand and get close enough so he could lie atop her and enter her.

“Fuck me!” Katie growled and Zack entered his waiting wet wife, the warmth of their bodies battling the steam rising off the chicken and rice cooling on the table right over the couple.

The First Lady

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

“I’m gonna kill him, I swear this time I’m gonna kill him!” screamed first-lady, Mrs. Jennifer Boyle.

“I go out of town on fucking business and I still hear about his, his, his fucking around?!” Of course this wasn’t the first time that Jim Knox had heard this all-too familiar tirade. As the lead Secret Service bodyguard for the first lady the broad shouldered man had been privy to a fair share of first-family squabbling, mostly about President Boyle’s extra-curricular Presidential ‘duties’.

Tonight however “Big Jim” as his fellow agents referred to him, sensed President Kennsingtom Holton Boyle had trod well over the first lady’s usual tolerated acceptance.

“Come on Jimmy, have a drink with me. You get off duty in an hour.”

“No thank you ma’am. Really, agents can’t be drinking, even off duty. Thank you all the same.”

“Sweet Jesus Christ!” The lady threw back her blonde locks and drained her glass. Attempting to steady herself on her modest 2-inch heels, Mrs. Boyle turned to pour herself another drink but instead slid to the floor with glass in hand and began to cry.

Jim Knox made it across the room before the First Lady spilled anything on the expensive sitting room rug. ”Ma’am,” he said as the first lady leaned on him to stand. The Secret Service man gently deposited his charge to the low easy chair at the right side of the big oak desk (a desk Jim had heard had quite the history). In executing his simple duty the curly-haired agent felt his sense of protection rise for the beautiful, supremely understanding, obviously passionate wife of the President: Jennifer Boyle was a true ‘First Lady’.

How could the leader-of-the-free-world even think about cheating on this woman? Clearing his throat as the first-lady sat back in the chair the Secret Service man broke a cardinal rule of his post, by opining: ”Ma’am, right now, President Boyle is not worthy of your company, let alone your bed.”

Big blue eyes shining, the first lady looked up. ”Why Jimmy, I believe that’s true,” she said through a weak smile.

What happened next was hard for Jimmy to understand, even later on when he had more time to consider it; as he lean down to the tear-stained lady in that well-worn chair, Mrs. Jennifer Boyle, first-lady of the United States, lean up and kissed him. Locked in an open mouth kiss, tongues furious, Jim’s reason exited the well-appointed sitting room-as well as his brain-as the First-Lady reached for and undid his belt buckle.

“No, Mrs. Boyle, we can’t…” he said breaking the kiss. The first-lady’s soft hands were in his open pants, pulling his briefs down under his thick heavy sack, working his rising erection free.

“What a wonderful cock, Jimmy,” Mrs. Boyle said and, as Jim tried to pull back, the first-lady simply smiled…then leaned forward and pulled the handsome man’s now nearly full erection between her lips. The sudden warmth, this lady’s obvious voraciousness-and skill-the fact that he was fucking the First-Lady’s mouth made Jim Knox clench his little cheeks, feel that familiar pull in the center of his perfect abs and then…fount down Mrs. Jennifer Boyle’s throat!

“Mmm,” Jimmy heard the 55 year-old lady say as he felt the head of his cock grow cold. “I haven’t done that in such a long time.”

Attempting to regain his serious pose, looking down at his now drained dick and the smiling slightly flushed lady below him, Jim tried to put himself away and turned slightly…

“Not so fast, honey, you’re sworn to take care of me, aren’t you?”

“Ma’am, I…”

“Now Jimmy, don’t be like my asshole husband and leave me hanging.”

Just being compared to President Boyle was enough to make Jim’s anger boil up over again…and his balls twitter slightly with electricity. Smiling as he covered his wet head, he looked down at the first-lady’s luminescent light eyes, eyes that had graced magazine covers through-out the known world and agreed: ”Yes, I am sworn to do my duty ma’am.”

Although ten years his senior when Jennifer Boyle peeled off her dress she presented a taut tanned body. Ample, maybe even slightly large breasts faced Jim in a deep, slightly pushed-together cleavage of a satin blue bra; the first lady wore high-cut soft panties the same robin egg blue.

Sitting back and spreading her long taut legs, Jim knelt to the Presidential meal being offered, smiled as Jennifer did, then kissed first her inner upper left thigh, then her right. ”Oh, Jimmy,” the first lady moaned as he opened his mouth, leaned in and breathed over the tightly pulled material covering the her hot pussy.

“Jimmy,” Jennifer Boyle repeated as her secret service man pushed his tongue into the hammock that was her panty. Jimmy sat back just as she held her breath. Looking up at the panting woman, he pulled the left side of the First-Lady’s now soaked panties aside exposing the woman’s glistening cunt.

Lapping at her thick lips, Jimmy became infected with Mrs. Boyle’s hot sex smell and dove forward to lap long licks between her gloppy lips.

“Oh…oh…” the lady panted, pushed back and up in the leather squeaking chair as Jimmy slid the woman’s panties aside even more and found her little engorged clit with his nose.

“Your Secret Service detail is ever on the job…ma’am,” Jim said, leaning off the lady for one last look up the amazing expanse of her lean body, then dove head first into her wet and waiting pussy.

Hot Outdoor Sex

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

It’s that time of year again where the leaves are starting to change color, and going outside without a jacket is almost impossible. Yes, I’m talking about the transformation from summer to fall, but what I really look forward to when the weather starts to change is the thought about going on vacation to a tropical destination with a sexy partner.

Not going to lie, I’ve had my fair share of fuck fests. A whole week of non stop sex in some of the most amazing spots all over the world with some of the most amazing fuck buddies I have ever seen. Oh yes.

Everybody should be able to enjoy hot sex in the heat. And it can’t get much better than sweaty body parts rubbing up against each other and sand getting into crevasses that sand should not be getting into to. Here are a few reasons as to why it’s important that you get your ass on vacation during these winter months, not that you will need much convincing.

Studies show that our bodies are not truly at peace until the sun beats down on them because the sun and the body’s biorhythms are the same. Not too mention that watching babes prancing around in bikinis, tanned skin, and spreading sunscreen all over someone’s body are contributing factors in getting us in the mood for an intense sex session.

Water sex is amazing because we feel ultimately weightless. Even the ones who are a little on the heavier side feel like they weigh a buck twenty. Water sex guarantees that everything is so fresh and so clean, and can feel absolutely amazing as the smell of salt and the sea heighten all senses.

Go for a walk and lose yourself in the jungle where it’s you and your partner. With no one else in sight and the idea of being out in the middle of nowhere, your sex drive will be at it’s fullest. Fresh air makes us energized and healthy, and the little kid inside of us associates being outdoors with freedom. So, let your inhibitions run wild and don’t hold anything back – in fact, picture yourself in a free porn flick!

Sitting by the pool, drink in hand, and a waiter at your finger tips makes us feel like we’re someone important. And even though we might only feel this way for an average of 5-7 days a year, we must take advantage of it. Getting dressed up, taking way too many tequila shots, and staying up late makes us lose all inhibitions and this is when the best sex can be created.

I know it’s probably not that hard to convince someone that outdoor sex on vacation is some of the best sex you will ever have. Especially after all of these suggestions above. So, if the only thing keeping you from hopping on this band wagon is not being able to afford it, um, well I don’t really have any more advice.