Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

The Motel

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Craig couldn’t believe his luck He bought the Sunny Day Motel for a steal and spent the better part of six months installing hidden cameras and microphones in every unit. In a spare room in his own cramped office/room the bald black man set up a series of monitors to capture all of the gory details that happened in his rooms 1 through 19 and on opening he saw customers right away.

What he never suspected-though hoped for-was all the sex he’d spy!

Some unsuspecting couple would come in for the night and Craig would watch them casually take off their clothes, sit on the bed, maybe have a cigarette, make small talk, then…

A mousy housewife and her husband took room 16 and Craig was literally blown away-not to mention he jerked off wildly-when that same “mousy” wife forced her husband to lick her pussy all night. There was the time a lanky husband and his equally lanky wife invited what had to be an Asian hooker to room 6 and took turns reaming the girl with a double-headed dong. Or the night a big bearded guy and his little wife took room 12 and the woman spent the night fisting her husband’s ass and licking his balls until he came over and over on her face.

Of course Craig’s favorites were lesbians. Sometimes he’d get a sense of girls being gay ahead of time, but most of the time it was a total surprise. Once he had two teachers staying in room 19 for a convention downtown. The ladies weren’t in their room for five minutes before the buxom blond had her short dark haired associate on her knees eating her hairless pussy.

Craig learned quite a few things that night about eating pussy, that’s for sure. Spying that much sex the weird and wacky was bound to happen to. An average looking guy, actually quite a ‘normal’ looking guy and his tall wife took room 4 one night and Craig quickly took to his viewing parlor though not expecting much. Of course to his surprise-with what happened on his screen and how much his own cock pounded when watching-the normal husband took off all of his clothes while his wife got out a huge diaper and a pair of plastic pants. The lady, who buy now had dressed in a 50′s style dress and heels, took a can of baby powder and powdered the man’s bare shaved crotch and ass just like she would a baby. She then put the diaper and rubber pants on her husband and talked to him in baby talk. She then gave him a pacifier and made him take a nap but not ten minutes later the ‘baby’ woke up crying and the lady simply opened up her blouse, popped out one of what Craig quickly saw was a magnificent big boob and let her husband suckle her hard nipple until he quieted.

Of course the ‘baby’ did something wrong, for soon he was across his mother slap, bare bottomed and getting spanked. When the woman sat back to let her husband/baby off her Craig could see a trail of thick come across the lady’s sweet upper thigh.

Given Craig’s deep entrepreneurial spirit and his sense of fair play, rather then tape all this action, he decided to refit the hotel and in a move that suddenly made the Sunny Day even more popular then it was, the in-room ‘Pay Perview’ porn option suddenly began showing very interesting footage indeed… indiscriminate feed from rooms 1-19.

The hotel really was a community labor of love, in the best sense of those words!

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Fashion Secrets: A List Of The Sexiest Female Accessories

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

Women are mysterious creatures. This is one of the reasons that female sex appeal dominates the advertising industry – men want to see behind the unknowable veneer that the sexiest women know how to project. However, if you’re looking for cracks in that veneer, look no further than a woman’s purse. A purse is like the Holy Grail – trade secrets abound, even things that you wouldn’t expect. So let’s take a look at the sexiest accessories a woman can carry and what those accessories mean.

Red Lipstick: Red is the color of lust – people with red cars get into more accidents, people who wear red clothing get into more fights. There’s something of passion in red, and hot red lipstick is designed to attract you to a woman’s lips. So, whether you’re picturing your lady giving you a blow job or simply undoing your pants with her teeth, beware this trade secret!

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Panties: If a woman is carries a pair of panties in her purse, that generally means she isn’t wearing any! While we love thongs and g-strings as much as the next guy, there’s nothing like a girl who forgoes panties altogether, and lets you know about it by carrying her pair in her purse. This is a clear sign that a girl wants to be fucked – so what are waiting for! Get over there and bust a move.

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Gum: It’s a fact that nearly all men have an oral fixation. Chewing gum has no purpose – there are mints to freshen your breath, there’s food to eat – and women keep their jaws moving for one reason. Exercise so they can suck your cock. Don’t forget that when she’s going down on you later!

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A Gun: Undoubtedly the sexiest accessory a woman can carry in her purse. Guns are nearly unnecessary these days since the invention of pepper spray and mace, but dangerous women have dangerous habits. Make sure your girl isn’t a spy before you climb into bed with her (after all, she may leave you tied up) – however dating a girl with a gun is all it’s cracked up to be. A tactile experience that’s bound to get a little wild!

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The Most Fuckable Extra Terrestrials

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

I’m not going to lie, I’ve always been a closet treky. I love everything about sci-fi and I’m finally ready to admit it. I’m even part of a club dedicated to enjoying everything about Star Trek, Star Wars, and anything else that is incredibly nerdy.

Now, I know most of you are thinking that I’m totally lame for being into all of this nerdy shit, but let me tell you, there are some pretty hot chicks on these shows and in these books that are completely fuckable.

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Connie Conehead from The Coneheads: Sure, she has a huge head, but her face is pretty hot. And if you don’t like the head, you could always put an extra large garbage bag on top of it.

Evie from Out of This World: Remember this hot half alien? I always fantasized about fucking her when she was on the show. But now she’s even older and hotter. Maybe she could freeze time mid-fuck by putting her two fingers together.

LEELOO from The Fifth Element: She’s dumber than a brick, but she’s really hot and lives up to her “perfect being” reputation.

Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager: The bedazzled catsuit that she struts around in as the Borg refugee who joined the crew of the Starship Voyager gave me an instant boner every time I would see her.

Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica: This bad ass would be perfect in the bedroom because you know she would be prepared with her whips and chains. Bring it on!

Celeste Martin from My Stepmother in An Alien: This sexy stepmom was the fantasy of all of my wet dreams from 1988 until present day.

Sil from Species: A woman created with DNA codes from outer space who loves to be naked and really likes sex; it can’t get much better than that. However, there is one downfall, what if she is prone to killing her mate afterwards? Well, that’s a sacrifice I would probably be willing to take.

After you’ve read this I’m sure there will be a lot of you that will take an interest in Sci-fi because it’s not just about outer space and de-coding, it’s also about hot chicks in sleek spacesuits that are not only eye candy, but great fantasies for your dreams and when you’re jacking off of course. I’m sure there is also some space alien porn out there that you could get into as well.

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Porn Star’s Wine Passion

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

There has always been a certain stigma attached to sex and alcohol. It lowers our inhibitions, therefore allows us to become more sexually open and explore sexual desires we would never otherwise explore.

A lot of porn stars have said that a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey before they are called to go on set really calms the nerves and puts them at ease before they have to strip down naked and fuck some dude that they’ve never even met before in front of a camera crew. If that was me, I would be drinking the whole bottle of whisky before doing that!

For one particular porn star, drinking and sex is more than just something to lower inhibitions. It’s about creating a flavor that is enjoyable and tasty.

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We all know that the world of wine making has attracted celebrities of all sorts who want to try their hands at producing a world renowned taste, but porn star Savanna Samson has taken it too a different level then slapping her name on some cheesy chardonnay.

Her italian red wine has received a score of 90 to 91 out of 100 by wine guru Robert Parker. And apparently in the world of wine, that’s pretty impressive.

You’re probably wondering how a blonde bimbo could know so much about wine. Apparently her sex appeal is not only good for making porn, it has helped her convince Italy’s Roberto Cipresso, a world renowned respected wine maker, to join the project with her.

Samson said she knew she wanted Roberto to make her wine because she, “just loves his passion.”

So, she went to Tuscany and tasted dozens of Cipresso’s Italian grown varieties, then selected a mix of 70 % Cesanese, 20% Sangiovese and 10% Montepulciano.

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The result: a 2004 vintage package under the name Savanna and a label showing her in a see through gown.

Savanna proves that porn stars can be classy, all the while still being slutty. Im sure Samson has opened a whole new realm of opportunity for porn stars all over the world and, not to mention, a better reputation.

A Case Of The ‘Slut Face’

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

Sometimes, it’s not just about looking good. Our expressions, as much as we’d like to think otherwise, can often serve as good indications to whether or not we are attractive in the eyes of others. Take the popular ‘slut face’, for example. The ever-so-subtle blank yet determined look that both confuses and attracts the opposite sex.

There’s something to be said about girls with ‘slut faces’. One look at them and you’ll start to wonder whether, if pressed, she’d just walk straight over you and go about her way. After all, that’s the type of attitude they’re portraying, one that is both empty and aggressive. A case of no apologies. However, one must wonder: is the ‘slut face’ something that could actually determine one’s sexual activity?

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If you ask me, regardless of the way someone dresses, or what facial expressions they give off, nothing is set in stone – therefore, it’s impossible to really know how many sexual partners one has solely based on those factors. And while it could certainly give off a few indicatives, it is certainly not a dead giveaway.

Next time you come across a woman with a case of the “slut face”, consider the fact that perhaps she’s just using her outer shell as a means of protection. Who knows, maybe despite her slutty appearance, she’s a wholesome librarian with good values and a modest sex life. But then again, she could be a man eating whore whose into free porn. Like they say, don’t judge a book by its cover.

A Lesson In Jimmy Hats

Monday, November 1st, 2010

With so many different condom brands to chose from, how do you go about picking the right one? While going for the old standard might sound easier, you’ll also run the risk of missing out on sex that could give you double, even triple the amount of pleasure. As an attempt to make your next shopping trip that much easier, we have compiled a list of how to go about selecting your next ‘party hat’.

1. Pick Your Brand – Latex is no longer the be-all material for condoms. For those who only buy the very best, consider switching to those made of Microsheer. Made from a medical polyurethane, these luxury condoms are capable of transmitting body heat, are nonallergenic and have absolutely no taste or smell – now there’s a condom I can stand behind. Alternatively, you can also opt for one made of Tactylon. Also nonallergenic and easily stretchable (score!), the only setback lies in its steeper price point. For those on a budget, a ribbed or studded latex alternative will give you the orgasm boost minus the price.

2. Keep Them Handy – Too many men are guilty of leaving a big ol’ stash of condoms right by their beds. And while there’s nothing wrong with using protection, your date will be sure to wonder why on earth you need so many. Consider keeping them stashed in a small toiletry bag. This way, you won’t run the risk of having your date – or mom – find them next time.

3. Timing Is Everything – Now that you know what to aim for when purchasing a condom, it’s time to put that thing on. While I’m sure most of you don’t need a step-by-step set of interactions to do this, understanding that timing is everything is an absolute must. Even a half a second pause is enough to throw the whole plan out of line. If necessary, have your partner give you quick lap dance so that you don’t miss a beat. You don’t want to resort to free porn.

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Benz: A Name For All Professions?

Monday, November 1st, 2010

Julie Benz caught her big break when Dexter, a Showtime television series, hooked North American television audiences with its unique breed of sex, sun and murder. Benz however, considered a legitimate actress, caught our eye not only for her standout performances, but for her name as well. It seems that in today’s film industry there are many more Benz’s in Internet porn films than legitimate productions, and while Julie Benz is working in Hollywood rather than Silicon Valley, it seems she may be capitalizing off of the success of her well chosen name.

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The line between whore and heroine is paper thin in the 21st century. Take the similarities between Julie and porn star Nikki Benz – both are fake blondes, have breast implants, and appear naked on film. Nikki is considered unmarketable in a mainstream sense because she explicitly takes dick in her pussy while Julie rides Michael C. Hall covertly. We ask however: aren’t both women essentially doing the same thing? These two little whores sell their bodies for money, no different than other porn stars such as Bethany Benz or Krystal Benz.

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When Julie Benz registered a name designed to remind viewers of sex, she knew exactly what she was doing. Benz has been successful too, marketing herself in same way as the porn industry markets their biggest stars. Going back further, the use of the name Benz in porn is clearly lifted from the European automotive manufacturer Mercedes, a cleaver pun on the sexy curves their cars are known for portraying. So how come no one else has caught on to what’s happening here? Perhaps we’re blinded by misleading moral values – after all, we all get fucked or do the fucking in one sense or another. It just depends on when and where – and it seems Julie Benz is a master of timing.

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How To Spot A Sexpot

Friday, October 29th, 2010

At some point or another, we’ve all had the pleasure of sleeping with a woman who rocked our world. You know, like the girls featured in our favorite free porn sites. These ladies have the power to tackle us down and leave us feeling slightly violated (though the look on our faces indicates otherwise). But how do you go about finding a women who will do a lot more than just lie there? Below we highlight some of the best ways of finding out whether or not a girl has the potential to blow your socks off.

She Walks The Walk – Believe it or not but researches from West Scotland were actually able to pick out women who could achieve an orgasm through intercourse – by simply analyzing their walk. According to them, women who are more prone to climaxing through vaginal sex take longer steps and tend to rotate their hips more often than their counterparts. It seems as though the more confident a woman is, the more she will ‘walk the walk’, and achieve orgasms.

She Can Carry Out A Conversation – While sex in itself doesn’t require any sort of verbal communication per se (with the exception of a few exclamations every now and then), it is one of the most crucial aspects in ensuring a solid connection in the bedroom. When it comes to conversation, the more similar you are to your partner, the better things will be in bed.

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She Can Focus – Despite most women claiming that size doesn’t matter, an Australian survey found that 34% of them believe that a bigger penis helps when trying to achieve and orgasm through intercourse. At the same time, two thirds of women stated not having a preference. With that, researchers concluded that perhaps one of the most indicative factors in reaching an orgasm lies in the ability to focus on the act itself. Women that tend to get distracted mid-sex are less likely to reach an orgasm by not paying attention to their vaginal sensations.

She’s Around 30 – If you weren’t into older women before, perhaps this will change your mind. Many studies have shown that women who are closer to 30 are nearing their sexual peaks. Due to both life experiences and hormonal factors, older women know exactly what they want, and when they want it. If you’re tired of dealing with finicky young girls, consider a more experienced alternative.

What Cosmopolitan Never Told You

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Admit it. Everytime you’re in line at the grocery store, you can’t help but take a quick peek at the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. After all, what guy can ignore the words “Shocking Things Women Do In Bed” placed next to a smoking hot model? Now, before being tempted enough to actually buy a copy, know that ‘Cosmo’ is not always right. In fact, they are often guilty of concealing some important factors when declaring they can teach you how to have ‘the best sex ever”. Below, we list some of the things that Cosmo never told you:

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1. Sex Toys – Dildos and vibrators, butt plugs and handcuffs; these are a few of Cosmopolitans favorite things. And while they love nothing more than to push their readers into buying as many sex toys as possible, what happens when you have a couple of curious children? Sure, a carefully stashed vibrator may go by unsuspected, but leave your sex paraphernalia lying around the house and you’ll wind up scarring your children for life.

2. Sex & Food – While I would never say no to champagne and strawberries, there comes a point where having food in the bedroom becomes a problem. Have you ever tried to mix honey and pubic hair? I wouldn’t recommend it. Not only will your bed sheets get incredibly filthy (and not in a good way) but you’ll risk ending up in the hospital when you find out your vag is lactose-intolerant.

3. Sexting – Sending a couple of racy text messages to your significant-other can be a lot of fun. What’s not fun, is when a magazine places so much importance in sexting that your girlfriend becomes obsessed with it. So much so, in fact, that you quickly run out of replies and start to dream of the days where you actually had real-life sex.

4. Bondage – I’d be lying if I said that a little rope action will do nothing for your sex life. When free porn is no longer sufficient, some good old fashioned bondage can do wonders. On the other hand, scaring the living hell out of your boyfriend with handcuffs and ropes in tow is not exactly sexy. Refrain from taking Cosmo’s articles too literally.

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5. Outdoor Sex – By now, we all know that Cosmopolitan loves nothing more than to promote an exiting and liberating sex life. And what better way to do that then by romping outdoors? But what may start off as thrilling may end up with you and your significant-other in the back of a cop car. Just something to keep in mind.

McLovin’

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

There was recently a study put out by McDonald’s that surveyed about 2000 Canadians. The findings of the survey showed that frequent McDonald’s consumers are showing love for the late night drive-thru, rather than some late night loving. Instead of fulfilling late night cravings with hot sex, this group would rather satisfy their desires with a big, fat, juicy Big Mac.

The marketing department at McD’s says this is because most drive-thru’s are open 24 hours, so they can better satisfy late night cravings.

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What does this say about Canadians to the rest of the world? In my opinion it says that we’re fat, and too damn lazy to have sex. What is this world coming too?

Thankfully we’re not the only country to choose McDonald’s over the more traditional late night cravings. Three McDonald’s outlets in Hong Kong are now offering “McWeddings”, a chance to get married under the golden arches.

According to a McDonald’s executive, “traditional weddings use cherries for the newlyweds to eat together and kiss. We will have french fries for them to kiss. People said they dated here or met here, and wanted to get married here. We see this as a business chance.”

So, we now have real people out there who would prefer to have a Big Mac rather than sex, and would like to have their wedding at McDonald’s. Those Big Mac lovin’ Canadians are probably extremely jealous of those Chinese people who can kill two birds with one stone by having sex while eating a Big Mac immediately after their McWedding. Sounds just great!

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It’s hard for me to process this information; then again, people are willing to have Star Wars and Lord of the Rings themed weddings, so it was only inevitable that somebody would want to get hitched at McDonald’s.

It’s only a matter of time before fast food ranks first on the priority list of people all over the world. Next thing you know we’re going to be watching burger porn; picture a fat chick rubbing Big Mac sauce all over her body. Yummy.