Archive for the ‘Free Porn’ Category

A Lesson In Jimmy Hats

Monday, November 1st, 2010

With so many different condom brands to chose from, how do you go about picking the right one? While going for the old standard might sound easier, you’ll also run the risk of missing out on sex that could give you double, even triple the amount of pleasure. As an attempt to make your next shopping trip that much easier, we have compiled a list of how to go about selecting your next ‘party hat’.

1. Pick Your Brand – Latex is no longer the be-all material for condoms. For those who only buy the very best, consider switching to those made of Microsheer. Made from a medical polyurethane, these luxury condoms are capable of transmitting body heat, are nonallergenic and have absolutely no taste or smell – now there’s a condom I can stand behind. Alternatively, you can also opt for one made of Tactylon. Also nonallergenic and easily stretchable (score!), the only setback lies in its steeper price point. For those on a budget, a ribbed or studded latex alternative will give you the orgasm boost minus the price.

2. Keep Them Handy – Too many men are guilty of leaving a big ol’ stash of condoms right by their beds. And while there’s nothing wrong with using protection, your date will be sure to wonder why on earth you need so many. Consider keeping them stashed in a small toiletry bag. This way, you won’t run the risk of having your date – or mom – find them next time.

3. Timing Is Everything – Now that you know what to aim for when purchasing a condom, it’s time to put that thing on. While I’m sure most of you don’t need a step-by-step set of interactions to do this, understanding that timing is everything is an absolute must. Even a half a second pause is enough to throw the whole plan out of line. If necessary, have your partner give you quick lap dance so that you don’t miss a beat. You don’t want to resort to free porn.

Oct. 29 - A Lesson In Jimmy Hats 1

Benz: A Name For All Professions?

Monday, November 1st, 2010

Julie Benz caught her big break when Dexter, a Showtime television series, hooked North American television audiences with its unique breed of sex, sun and murder. Benz however, considered a legitimate actress, caught our eye not only for her standout performances, but for her name as well. It seems that in today’s film industry there are many more Benz’s in Internet porn films than legitimate productions, and while Julie Benz is working in Hollywood rather than Silicon Valley, it seems she may be capitalizing off of the success of her well chosen name.

Julie Benz

The line between whore and heroine is paper thin in the 21st century. Take the similarities between Julie and porn star Nikki Benz – both are fake blondes, have breast implants, and appear naked on film. Nikki is considered unmarketable in a mainstream sense because she explicitly takes dick in her pussy while Julie rides Michael C. Hall covertly. We ask however: aren’t both women essentially doing the same thing? These two little whores sell their bodies for money, no different than other porn stars such as Bethany Benz or Krystal Benz.

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When Julie Benz registered a name designed to remind viewers of sex, she knew exactly what she was doing. Benz has been successful too, marketing herself in same way as the porn industry markets their biggest stars. Going back further, the use of the name Benz in porn is clearly lifted from the European automotive manufacturer Mercedes, a cleaver pun on the sexy curves their cars are known for portraying. So how come no one else has caught on to what’s happening here? Perhaps we’re blinded by misleading moral values – after all, we all get fucked or do the fucking in one sense or another. It just depends on when and where – and it seems Julie Benz is a master of timing.

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How To Spot A Sexpot

Friday, October 29th, 2010

At some point or another, we’ve all had the pleasure of sleeping with a woman who rocked our world. You know, like the girls featured in our favorite free porn sites. These ladies have the power to tackle us down and leave us feeling slightly violated (though the look on our faces indicates otherwise). But how do you go about finding a women who will do a lot more than just lie there? Below we highlight some of the best ways of finding out whether or not a girl has the potential to blow your socks off.

She Walks The Walk – Believe it or not but researches from West Scotland were actually able to pick out women who could achieve an orgasm through intercourse – by simply analyzing their walk. According to them, women who are more prone to climaxing through vaginal sex take longer steps and tend to rotate their hips more often than their counterparts. It seems as though the more confident a woman is, the more she will ‘walk the walk’, and achieve orgasms.

She Can Carry Out A Conversation – While sex in itself doesn’t require any sort of verbal communication per se (with the exception of a few exclamations every now and then), it is one of the most crucial aspects in ensuring a solid connection in the bedroom. When it comes to conversation, the more similar you are to your partner, the better things will be in bed.

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She Can Focus – Despite most women claiming that size doesn’t matter, an Australian survey found that 34% of them believe that a bigger penis helps when trying to achieve and orgasm through intercourse. At the same time, two thirds of women stated not having a preference. With that, researchers concluded that perhaps one of the most indicative factors in reaching an orgasm lies in the ability to focus on the act itself. Women that tend to get distracted mid-sex are less likely to reach an orgasm by not paying attention to their vaginal sensations.

She’s Around 30 – If you weren’t into older women before, perhaps this will change your mind. Many studies have shown that women who are closer to 30 are nearing their sexual peaks. Due to both life experiences and hormonal factors, older women know exactly what they want, and when they want it. If you’re tired of dealing with finicky young girls, consider a more experienced alternative.

What Cosmopolitan Never Told You

Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Admit it. Everytime you’re in line at the grocery store, you can’t help but take a quick peek at the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. After all, what guy can ignore the words “Shocking Things Women Do In Bed” placed next to a smoking hot model? Now, before being tempted enough to actually buy a copy, know that ‘Cosmo’ is not always right. In fact, they are often guilty of concealing some important factors when declaring they can teach you how to have ‘the best sex ever”. Below, we list some of the things that Cosmo never told you:

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1. Sex Toys – Dildos and vibrators, butt plugs and handcuffs; these are a few of Cosmopolitans favorite things. And while they love nothing more than to push their readers into buying as many sex toys as possible, what happens when you have a couple of curious children? Sure, a carefully stashed vibrator may go by unsuspected, but leave your sex paraphernalia lying around the house and you’ll wind up scarring your children for life.

2. Sex & Food – While I would never say no to champagne and strawberries, there comes a point where having food in the bedroom becomes a problem. Have you ever tried to mix honey and pubic hair? I wouldn’t recommend it. Not only will your bed sheets get incredibly filthy (and not in a good way) but you’ll risk ending up in the hospital when you find out your vag is lactose-intolerant.

3. Sexting – Sending a couple of racy text messages to your significant-other can be a lot of fun. What’s not fun, is when a magazine places so much importance in sexting that your girlfriend becomes obsessed with it. So much so, in fact, that you quickly run out of replies and start to dream of the days where you actually had real-life sex.

4. Bondage – I’d be lying if I said that a little rope action will do nothing for your sex life. When free porn is no longer sufficient, some good old fashioned bondage can do wonders. On the other hand, scaring the living hell out of your boyfriend with handcuffs and ropes in tow is not exactly sexy. Refrain from taking Cosmo’s articles too literally.

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5. Outdoor Sex – By now, we all know that Cosmopolitan loves nothing more than to promote an exiting and liberating sex life. And what better way to do that then by romping outdoors? But what may start off as thrilling may end up with you and your significant-other in the back of a cop car. Just something to keep in mind.

Top 5 Lines No Man Wants To Hear

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

When it comes to dating, there are certain things that no man wants to hear. Ever. In order to keep from being totally and utterly humiliated, or just ticked off, read on for a list of the worst things that could be said to a man. Knowing them could certainly save you some face.

1. “I Only Drink Champagne” – We’ve all been there. You finally build the guts to ask that beautiful – and out-of-your-league – girl out on a date. Upon asking her what she would like to drink, she throws a bomb by claiming to only drink champagne. Great, there goes another $100. Let’s just hope you don’t end up watching free porn at the end of the night.

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2. ‘”Do Something!” – There is no appropriate time to hear those two dreaded words used in sequence. Needless to say, if you hear it mid sex, know that you need to work on your performance, and fast. In all other instances, consider your primal instincts. Men should be protective and “do things”, so start doing them before you look like a pussy.

3. “That’s Not The Right Hole’ – Whether you “casually” forgot about her distaste for anal sex or simply can’t tell the difference between the later and standard intercourse, getting a ‘that’s not the right hole” usually means your partner is already ticked off. Good luck with that.

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4. “Your Card Has Been Denied” – There is nothing more embarrassing that having a cashier suddenly announce to everyone (and their mothers) that your card has been denied. Bonus points if this happens while you’re with that girl that only drinks champagne. How grand that would be.

5. “Did You Just Fart?” – If you’re out in public, you can at least pretend as if it was someone else. However, if after prepping your bedroom for a night of wild sex – wine, candles and all – you decided to let one out, you might as well just send her home. Try not to eat so much rubbish next time, champ.

Simple Sex Is One Of Life’s Greatest Pleasures

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

If there’s anything that certain about sex, it’s that it can complicate life and relationships. Sex is messy: it controls our actions and often leads to places we’d otherwise avoid. Despite this, no one goes out of their way to avoid sex – in fact nearly everyone embraces sex in their own way. So how do you choose what you’d like?

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Internet porn has made sex easy, not to mention accessible for public consumption. You don’t have to hide in a dirty bookstore to buy it anymore – and without that embarrassment people have opened up to fetishes and darker desires. Like a good meal you can have your fucking any way you like it – with whips, chains, stockings, anally, on a boat. The scenarios are endless, and often lead to an escalation in the type of behavior needed to get off.

Escalation is a key point, because although we like our ladies in thigh high stockings, and love when they suck dick in lipstick, sometimes there’s nothing better than just plain old sex. You know the kind: you strip down and bend over a big titted bitch and fuck her until she screams. Never mind acrobatics worthy of Cirque du Soleil, simple pounding is refreshing and a back to basics approach that will help you return to your roots.

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So the next time your lady comes over, smack her ass and get down to one of life’s richest pleasures: simple sex. You can thank us later.

Female Athletes: Sex-Icons In The Making?

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Sex sells. An old adage, yet true: sex is used to sell everything from beer to cars, and traditionally, waif-like models have been used to do it. Athletes have been increasingly sexualized however, and the 21st century has seen a rise in the number of muscled midriffs in popular culture. After all, what’s hotter than fucking a skinny model? Fucking a tight, toned and primed athlete that will rock your bed like porn star on steroids – that’s what. So let’s take a look at 4 of the hottest athletes in the world today.

Amanda Beard:

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A world class swimmer and Olympic Gold Medalist, Beard set the bar high by medalling in three consecutive Olympic Games. Moreover, she put her porn worthy body on display in Playboy, setting a precedent for other athletes trying to match her celebrity.


Lindsay Vonn
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Lindsay Vonn was lauded as America’s Winter Olympic answer to Michael Phelps in early 2010, and while she didn’t quite live up to that mantle, she did bring home a gold medal. Not only that, but she sparked jealousy in teammates and opponents alike by showing off her tight body in an alluring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit spread to coincide with the games. It’s worth finding too, especially to see her voluptuously muscled ass in action.


Alison Stokke
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While Stokke’s athletic pedigree pales in comparison on her beauty, it’s her muscular body that has everyone talking. That and the fact that she’s a pole-vaulter – prompting otherwise respectable journalists to lose their shit and crack: she could vault my pole any time. Amen!


Anna Kournikova
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These days, Kournikova is more celebrity than athlete, but she makes our list for that very reason. Anna is a modern prototype : a failed athlete who has exploited her sex appeal in Hollywood. While she’s been in a relationship with Enrique Iglesias for nearly a decade, he’s bound to come out of the closet at some point. Until then, we’ll be waiting for Anna with baited breath.

A Newbie Guide To Swinging

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

Being a swinger is a lot more than just having sex with multiple partners. It’s a lifestyle. For those curious to try it, know that it involves a lot more than just heading over to your local swingers club, condoms in hand.

For starters, know that you can’t just simply stroll into a swinger’s club without a partner. However, that only applies if you are of the male variety. Single females are more than welcome to stroll in at any given time. If you don’t have a partner, your best best is to go on “single men” nights. However, expect a sausage fest. The best way to go about swinging still lies in finding a partner who is willing and able.

Oct. 21- A Newbie Guide To Swinging

Despite the vast amount of swinger’s clubs, sex mostly happens in people’s houses and occasionally in the great outdoors (eg. camping grounds). Also keep in mind that many ‘high class’ clubs are “invitation only”, though many still welcome periodic walk-ins.

Before getting down and dirty, keep in mind that swingers are not just a bunch of horny animals that will hump anything with a pulse. Men will often find a hooker or crackhead to use as a “ticket” in order to get through the door, and that is the ultimate swinger faux pas. Most swingers have a zero-tolerance policy on dubious partners. So stick to a female companion that you know and trust.

Perhaps the hardest aspect of swinging is getting your partner to agree to it in the first place. When faced with a hesitant girlfriend, here a few convincing points:

- You don’t necessarily need to have sex with anybody else (but you will be watched, it’s a bit like free porn)

- You will have a newfound appreciation towards each other once you realize how desirable you are to others

- If she is concerned about showcasing her body, assure her that swingers come in all shapes and sizes and that they most definitely don’t discriminate

- It will provide you with a good opportunity to socialize and learn more about sex

Once you’ve gotten your partner willing and ready to go, make sure that you are both in agreement over how it will go down. While some partners are ok with ‘sharing’, others just like to observe. Alternately, some like to ‘play around’ with other couples but not have sex. Whatever your swinging style, know what you are in for before walking through those doors. You don’t want to end up causing a scene when you touch another woman’s tits and your girlfriend throws a fit.

Now that you know what to expect, and what you are willing to do, it’s time to do some prep work. Start off by ensuring that you have reservations (most parties have a guest list) and that you are given guidelines into the do’s and dont’s of your club of choice. Once that’s settled, make sure to arrive with your date in hand. Having her meet you inside might not be the best idea (or they could just simply not let you in). As for the dress code, dressing sexy is appropriate, being mistaken for a prostitute is not. Some swingers also chose to bring a robe for added convenience. Whatever your choice of attire, the most important thing to remember is to clean yourself up. Brush your teeth, take care of any grooming needs and ensure that your nails are clean. If only out of respect for others.

If you’ve finally managed to get inside and you and your partner are ready to go, know that there are additional factors to keep in mind. For starters, try not to offend anybody. If approached by an overweight man you would rather die than touch, a simple “no thank you” will suffice. Staring is also not exactly a good idea. If you come across a closed bedroom, leave it that way. The best approach for newbie swingers is to make friends with an experienced couple and have them show you around. Use protection, wash your hands in between sessions and you’ll have a jolly good time.

Sex Trend Du Jour: Cuckolding

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

In what is considered to be sex for the wise, ‘cuckolding’ is the newest sex trend amongst literates. What is cuckolding, you ask? Often popular amongst older couples, the process involves allowing another man to have sex with your wife or partner, and you may have seen it in free porn.

Portrayed as the ultimate shame by none other than Chaucer and Shakespeare, it’s not exactly shocking that this trend has become such a normal practice in modern-day society. A quick browse through the internet will prove that cuckolding websites are full of husbands looking for someone who would do them the favor of screwing their wives. Not only do they sit there and watch in excitement, but they often favor men that are stronger, smarter and sexier than they are. Go figure.

What could almost be considered a form of psychological sadomasochism, the “cucks” involvement lies only in observation. They never participate. Perhaps that is the allure of the whole thing; watching but not being able to intervene. While some people love to get beaten and tortured, “cucks” get turned on by going through some serious mental anguish.

Going through such an arduous psychological process seems to be attracting intellectuals over anyone else. Flocks of cuckolding enthusiasts flood websites such as OurHotWives.org in hopes of finding a suitable partner to take over in the bedroom. In an interesting turn of events, it’s curious to note that while these men are ok with having strangers have sex with their wives, the thought of them getting involved in an emotional sense is simply unthinkable.

It is interesting to think of what this trend will lead to in the future. Whether this will become progressively more acceptable or dwindle down as yet another fad is something we will have to wait and see.

Oct. 20 - Sex Trend Du Jour- Cuckolding

Girls-On-Girls To Impress The Gentlemen

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

After discussing porn sites with my roommate, I laughed when he told me his subject of interest revolved around lesbians. “Lesbians eating each other out; now that’s the stuff”, he said with a sparkle in his eyes. Now, I know that it’s not exactly big news that men love lesbians. Even Britney and Madonna’s infamous kiss was enough to get everyones panties in a bunch. But what is it about women making out that turns men on so much? Is it the aspect of having double the fun? You know, two being better than one? Here’s the thing though, if these lesbians are in fact lesbians, then clearly they wouldn’t want to go anywhere near a penis. Right?

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Two professors from the University of California decided to analyze this girl-on-girl business a little further. After conducting a national survey, they determined that out of all the women polled, only 2% considered themselves lesbians or bisexuals. On the other hand, 8% reported having same sex desires or engaging in same-sex frolicking. While the number certainly seems low, what’s interesting to observe is the relation between sexual preference and actual behaviors.

Another important find – that is also not exactly groundbreaking – is that the reason behind girls making out with girls lies in one thing and one thing only – impressing the boys. Add a little bit of alcohol into the mix and suddenly a girl will do just about anything to show a man just how “wild” she is. Perhaps it all boils down to the fact that a man’s role is to observe while women are to be observed.

I never said I was a feminist (after all I enjoy free porn).

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Even though men like to believe that a lesbian couple would be more than eager to jump into bed with them, chances are they wouldn’t. A pair of fake lesbians however, would love nothing more. That’s why they’re making out in the first place. So for the lez-enthusiasts out there, consider your setting before attempting to make a pass on a same-sex couple. If they’re just strolling around hand in hand not really paying you any mind, let them be. Alternately, if two girls start to make-out right in front of you, chances are it’s just a little desperate act to get your attention. And boy does it work!