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Smegma


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Smegma is a naturally occurring, cheese-like substance that forms between the head of the penis and the foreskin. Doesn’t that sound delicious? Mmmm mmmm! It’s not better with cheddar, or feta. It’s Hurrah for smegma!

In honor of God’s work in inventing smegma, a limerick:

There once was a man name of Keith

Whose foreskin had cheese underneath.

He had a long shower,

For just over an hour

And now it’s a glistening sheath.

Smegma is disgusting to most women. It smells and it looks like dried puss. However, before all you ladies get on your high horse (by the way, you shouldn’t give marijuana to horses – but I’ll let you off with a warning this time) it should be noted that women also get smegma on their clitoris when they don’t clean themselves regularly.

There once was a lady named Shelly

With big tits and a flat belly.

But it wasn’t so good,

Under the clitoral hood

Where it was all gross and smelly.

See, girls? Limericks are a double edged sword that can turn on you too!

The basic lesson to learn about smegma is that you should clean your genitals at least once a day, and definitely before any sexy times are anticipated. Then again, is smegma so bad in a world with ass-to-mouth action? Not really. So enjoy!

1. Things were going great for Rick on his first date with his second cousin Wendy. He didn’t care that she shared some genetic linkage with him, because all he wanted to do was spray his genetic linkage all over her world-class tits and ass. He took her to see “Ernest Goes to Abu Dhabi”, and afterwards bought her some French fries down by the river. When she pulled down his pants to thank him with her mouth for a lovely evening, his car stereo’s black-light display illuminated the white smegma that he had neglected to clean off himself earlier that night. She recoiled in horror as the smell hit her, but Rick didn’t give up. He got out of the car, poured his 7-Up all over his junk, and dried himself off with his French fry napkins. He presented his 7-Up flavored cock to his second cousin, and she was all over it! Success! The moral of this story: never give up!

2. Peter pulled his wife’s panties down and spread her pussy lips so he could start giving her some anniversary cunnilingus. When the clitoral hood was pulled back, he saw a big glob of smegma sitting on her plump clit like a scoop of ice cream on top of a piece of apple pie. He was drunk as shit anyway, because after thirty years of marriage, you need a little lubrication to get your face in the old lady’s cunt. So, he just went for it, and thought about how awesome it would be the next day when she would make him breakfast in bed as a thank-you.

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