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Shag


The verb shag is a word that means “to fuck”. It originated in England, but was popularized in North America in the movie Austin Powers (and its sequels). It can be conjugated in the present tense as follows: I shag; You shag; He shags; She shags; We shag; You (plural) shag; They shag. It is versatile in nature and can be used as a noun as well. As a matter of fact, it’s almost as versatile as “fuck”, whereby it can be substituted and adapted in many different ways. To shag. Or have a shag. Up to you!

Shag is sometimes used in the US by douchebags who think they’re full-on Eurotrash after visiting any of Great Britain.

Shag is also a term used in the US for fucking while on a shag carpet. For those of you born after 1981, a shag carpet has very long and gross fibers. It is usually puke-green in color and comes in many different putrid smells (i.e., “dead cat”). To have sex on this ancient carpet would be “to shag”. It often causes massive third degree rug burns on the ass and back, and can leave many microscopic fibers on the body that CSI could find without any cool microscopes.

The British use the term shag almost always. You will rarely hear them talking about “having sex”, “drowning the donkey”, or “pounding”. This is just not proper. It’s also easier to say the word “shag” with a mouth-full of crooked and jagged teeth, rather than spew out a complex phrase like “I’d like to stick it in her”. Note the fewer syllables to push through the halitosis and lateral lisps. Shag will be said by the British for years to come.

Shagadelic is a term coined by Austin Powers that describes someone who is worthy of fucking. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are easy or slutty. It means they are hot. The word quickly fizzed away after the movie stopped airing on prime-time television.

I had a good shag once with a brit in the late 90s. She was tall and mouthy and I couldn’t understand a word she said. Didn’t matter because she had a rack the size of WWII cannons and remarkably decent teeth for an English broad. I met her on a yacht for a company party. She came with some monster who looked like he had a whack-load of extra chromosomes. She knew it but wanted a voyage on a huge boat before she flew back home. And she definitely got docked later that night in the bathroom. I did her again the next night in a hostel laundry room. She sent me a postcard when she got home that said “thanks for the shag”. I appreciated that and kept it on my fridge for a couple of weeks. Good times.

The Shags is also the name of a 1960s garage and psychedelic rock band from Milwaukee. It is not wise to shag to The Shags – especially on shag carpet. Try it and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

1. I really needed a shag last night so I called up my slutty neighbor and shagged her for a minute or two.

2. Nicole visited England and had a decent shag with a brit named Andy.

RELATED TERMS:

Douche

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