The term single is used to refer to those who are not in a relationship. Being single is sometimes considered a lonely and sad state because there is a great deal of pressure to be in a relationship or to be on the path to getting married. Society puts a lot of pressure on couples to acknowledge their relationship in certain ways with specific checkpoints or rites of passage, like engagements, marriage, the exchanging of rings and vows, celebrating such lame ‘holidays’ as Valentines Day, and getting each other puppies and kittens. Oh and we all better be monogamous if we’re in a relationship, or else we’re deviant.
I’ve been single many times in my life, and not just for a few months here and there, but for extremely long stretches – sometimes several months at a time and sometimes years at a time. In fact, I’ve probably been single more than I haven’t been in the last decade. Here are the serious benefits of being single.
First off, you get to make amazing friends. You can put all that energy you might put into a relationship into cultivating and developing incredible relationships with friends. This takes a lot of work and effort and it’s hugely beneficial. If you think of it this way, the likelihood that the primary partner you may end up with is going to a) be able to fulfill all your needs and b) actually outlive you, is super slim, so it’s important to surround yourself with a group, or several groups, of amazing friends, each of whom can support you in unique ways.
Second, you can focus on your education, your career, and your passions. You can put yourself first and it isn’t selfish at all when you’re single. You can travel all over the place, go to school in another country, work in another country, or just stay where you are. Either way, you have so much choice and so many options. And your friends don’t think twice when you don’t consider them while you’re planning where you’re going to move to. You pretty much always have to consider a partner with major decisions like that.
Third, you get to work on yourself. As much as romantic relationships are wonderful and personally fulfilling and validating, if you haven’t figured out your shit, you just end up being kind of useless and dogpaddling around, trying to figure out how to improve your swimming. When you have long periods of being single, and you decide to embrace those periods and really work on yourself, you can really discover who you are and what your needs and wants are. You can also work on being a good future partner by learning to be compassionate, understanding, and a good communicator. You can learn to listen and help others and you can also learn to lean on others. You can develop boundaries. There’s so much opportunity in being single.
1. I’m single, but not alone.
2. My girlfriend dumped me so now I’m single. I think I’m going to move to Greece and learn how to be a fisherman.
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