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Outercourse is not a well-known term, but nearly everyone starts off fucking this way. A more commonly known term is ‘foreplay,’ or ‘dry-humping,’ but most guys over the age of 19 simply call it ‘cock-teasing.’ The technical definition of outercourse is sexual activity or play without vaginal or anal penetration.
Most couples engage in outercourse on a first or second date, holding off on real fucking until they know the other person isn’t crazy, diseased, or a rapist. Although it is completely acceptable for outercourse to continue for months while we are still in high school, most adults generally agree that if penetration doesn’t occur by the fifth date, then there must be something seriously wrong. There could be TONS of reasons why outercourse would still exist after several dates. Perhaps the man is gay or impotent. Perhaps the woman is still a virgin, or even worse, Christian. Or maybe neither of you is really attracted to each other at all, and you’d both rather be at home watching delightfully dirty porn (for free at orgasm.com) and jacking off.
Although outercourse and dry humping are quite burdensome to most men, we all have to experience it from time to time. However, there are few tips one should know. First of all, if a man wants to avoid months and months of outercourse, simply tell the woman you aren’t interested in sex right away, on the first date if possible. Either tell them you want to wait and get to know each other first, or tell them you recently got divorced and haven’t been able to fuck a woman ever since. If you say you’re not interested, the female will feel insecure and think something is wrong with her, naturally jumping in the sac as quickly as possible for validation. If, however, you tell her you’re an impotent divorcee, she will see it as a challenge, and you could possibly have some of the most aggressive sex of your life. Either way, it’s a win for you, and you avoid those awkward nights of humping her leg until your balls ache, and then spending twenty minutes in her bathroom jerking off after she falls asleep.
In all fairness, we have also provided a tip for women. If you date a man for several weeks without sleeping with him, and he seems totally cool with that, then it means he’s getting laid somewhere else. Or he’s gay. In either case, he can out wait you by a long shot, so you’re best to either get some too, or move on. After all, aren’t you sick of going to bed feeling like you’re wearing a pair of soaking wet diapers, just because you kept your panties on while you made out for five hours straight?
1. If you ever find yourself in a frigmarole of outercourse, don’t waste your time any longer. Go find yourself a Leanne and forget about ‘Frigid Frita.’
2. Outercourse was cool when you were twelve or thirteen, but if you’re still dry humping after the fifth date, it’s time to move on.
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