The Office Bike is the promiscuous woman believed to have had sex with the most men in a workplace. She is more valuable to the company than any shareholder, technology, specialist, or machinery. When your office bike is recognized, treat her like the invaluable commodity that she is. Give her a raise. God knows she’s given a bunch to your employees!
The reason why the sluttiest woman is referred to as a bike is based on the joke that “everybody has had a ride”. It is meant to be disparaging, but I believe this attitude will change as people become more aware of the vital functions which any office bike provides.
In fact, bicycles are one of the things that have most liberated women, in recent history. Suddenly, in the late 1890’s, women were leaving their homes to go for a nice bike ride. They traded in their insane dresses for riding pants that they could use on their bikes. It started a chain reaction in terms of emancipation that is still being felt by today’s modern woman. I’d like to be felt by today’s modern woman.
In fact, the bicycle was instrumental in advancing the machinery used to start the industrial revolution, and automotive industry. See how important the bike is? It’s the same for the office bike. She gives the guys at work a nice place to park their dicks for a while. If the guy is married, she’s a nice piece of strange that helps his ego. If the guy is single, she reminds him that there’s always an easy piece of tail around the corner.
I remember I was working in an office a few years back, and immediately being introduced to Rita. My buddy Rick in the office had got me the job, so he briefed me on Rita, and made sure she was the one to show me around. He also let me know that she was the office bike. Big, fat, beautiful tires on Rita. And a firm seat. Suffice to say, within a week I had rung the bell on the office bike a few times.
Then, one night when we were over at her place, she suggested we invite Rick over. I knew Rita was kinky, but this surprised me. I agreed and Rick was over there before Rita hung up the phone. We all got blasted on wine and weed, and then had the hottest threesome I have ever been in. While we were spitroasting her, I kept humming the song “Daisy Bell”. Why? Because she was “a bicycle built for two”.
BAM!
1. Sarah was the undisputed Office Bike until Lisa was hired. Then the competition for the title began in earnest. By the time the company declared bankruptcy, Sarah had fucked twenty-one different employees. Lisa was narrowly edged out, having only fucked eighteen different employees. She was only there for three weeks, so you can tell she did her best.
2. Find and fuck your Office Bike.
RELATED TERMS: