No Homo is a strange phenomenon that came out of Utah in the early 2000’s, perpetuated the most by male Asian high school students and college athletes. Eventually, it spread across all races in North America, but it’s not usually something you hear from anyone over the age of 30.
No Homo is an instinctively defensive comment that young men make when they accidentally bump into another male, perhaps grazing their leg with their hand or barely touching the leg of their jeans against the other guy’s butt. In reality, there’s nothing remotely gay about what happened, but because these types of men are extremely homophobic and insecure about their sexuality, they constantly feel the need to throw out “no homo” whenever there is contact with another male. In fact, UFC president Dana White says that he spends an average of ten thousand dollars a month paying video editors to bleep out the sounds of all the fighters muttering “no homo! No Homo!” every single time they end up grappling on the mat during a fight.
Unfortunately, there are even more insecure men out there who tend to overuse the phrase “no homo.” These particular men, usually teenage boys or college students, tend to throw that out there as a shield every time they want to do or say something that their peers might find “non-masculine.” Complimenting another guy on his shoes or new jacket, admitting that you cried after your girlfriend broke up with you, or telling your friend that you actually like Starbucks coffee, are all scenarios that would warrant a “no homo” heterosexual blocker thrown out there beforehand.
Now, it’s important to remember one thing. If you overuse the term, saying it any time you show any sort of emotion whatsoever, or indicate a friendship with another man openly, then it can have the opposite effect and make you completely suspect. Also, if you preface something that is clearly inappropriate with “no homo,” it doesn’t necessarily make it “no homo.” In fact, more often than not, it makes it absolutely “homo.” For example, if you say to your best friend at a sleepover, “Man, No Homo or anything, but if fall asleep I won’t wake up for ANYTHING. I mean it. I’m a really sound sleeper. Anything could happen, and I wouldn’t wake up or remember it,” then that in fact, is incredibly homo. Or, if you are having a drink with one of your Bros and he’s telling you the steamy details of some hot chick he banged, you probably shouldn’t reply with, “Dude, no Homo, but I’ll bet you can fuck like a rock star.” That, my friend, is anything but “No Homo.”
1. Every time my wrestling coach asks for a volunteer to demonstrate a new technique, he always starts off by saying “No Homo” before grappling with the guy. It’s starting to make me wonder why he always showers with us.
2. One time I went to a Gay bar with my girlfriend and accidentally used the term “No Homo” when I complimented a guy on his jacket. Needless to say, he didn’t believe me, and I’m not sure I did either.
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