Nearsighted Dates are becoming extremely popular with the advent of social networking sites and online dating sites, but they can be far more dangerous and disappointing than the old fashioned “blind date” that our parents used to go on.
In a Blind date, you’ve never seen the person before, either in person or in photographic form. All you’ve got to go on is that one of your friends claims the unknown individual is “really nice” and a “perfect match” and that you two would have a “lot in common.” First of all, those are code words for ugly, pathetic, and desperate, but we all know that, which is why people haven’t gone on blind dates since the 1950’s.
Nearsighted Dates, however, are all the rage now. In this case, you’ve at least seen a few photographs of the person, because either your friend has shown them to you or you’ve been chatting with the person yourself online and they’ve sent you several photographs, which they claim are “very recent” (another code word for: different person, or before the weight gain). Perhaps you’re even friends on facebook now and you’ve checked out every single one of her profile photos and in every one of them she looked really hot. Well, I’ve got news for you. Those photos are handpicked, cropped, digitally enhanced, or completely fabricated.
Of course, you never realize this until you finally agree to meet in person. You walk into the restaurant or bar, and start scoping out the place trying to find your dream girl from the photograph. You see a slim blonde with big tits sitting at the bar alone, but once you get there she brushes you off. Not her. So you move on to a table near the back, sure its her this time because she’s smiling and waving you over. Turns out, its not her either and she just thought by your terrible fashion sense that you were one of the waiters and she wanted to order a drink. You even stand near the washroom for a while, scouring the line up of women waiting to use it to see if you find your beauty queen.
Finally, you give up and figure that you beat her here and she’s running late. You sit down at a table facing the door, order yourself a drink, and wait. Before long, you’re leaping out of your chair, spilling your drink all of yourself, and bolting towards the back fire exit as a 350 lb Ginger girl with a girl’s floor hockey t shirt on chases after you trying to flag you down and screaming, “Jason! Jason! It’s me! Barbie! Sorry I’m late!”
So, how do you avoid ending up like poor Jason did? If you’re going to go on a near-sighted date, splurge for a $25.00 webcam from Walmart and ask the girl to download skype. If she’s got nothing to hide, she’ll already have thought of that herself. After all, you could be an Orcha Ginger too.
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