Sex Porn Dictionary

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Cleveland Steamer


The sexual practice of taking a shit on your lover’s chest, then sitting on it and rocking back and forth like a steamroller.

There is some disagreement as to whether this practice originated in Cleveland, or if it is so named because Cleveland is such a “shitty” town.

Well, Orgasm.com is here to set the record straight. The practice is actually named after Grover Cleveland, former President of the United States (1885-1889, 1893-1897). It seems the President was fond of dropping a big, stinky deuce on his young pretty wife Francis Folsom Cleveland (who was, at 21, the youngest First Lady in American history), and then he would roll his fat, old, white piggy ass cheeks all over her pert, shit-cover titties.

Documents recently uncovered by Orgasm.com indicate that because of her husband’s scatological proclivities, Francis joking referred to the Lincoln Bedroom as the “Stinkin’ Bedroom.” Go history!

DID YOU KNOW? The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover and Francis Cleveland’s daughter Ruth. Interestingly, the Baby Ruth is a fat, fudgey little log filled with peanuts, just like the kind of steaming turd the portly President loved to drop on the First Lady’s creamy, nubile sweater muffins.

1. I had a dream last night that I gave Britney Spears a Cleveland Steamer, or as she liked to call it, a “Kentwood Picnic.”

2. I asked April to give me a Cleveland Steamer, and she said, “You mean while you’re awake this time?”

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