Archive for the ‘Porn’ Category

Top 5 Blow Job Mistakes

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

When it comes to blow jobs, men are likely to bypass a few occasional mishaps in order to spare their partners from either, a) embarrassment, or b) stopping altogether – though mostly the later. Now, before you jump the gun and label yourself a pro at the art of felattio, read on for a list of the top five mistakes women commit when going down.

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1. Succumbing To Your Gagging Impulses – Despite what free porn videos depict, gagging during a blow job is less than attractive. Not only does it make it seem as if you can’t take the heat, but we can’t help but worry that you might just easily puke all over our junk. Not a pretty sight. If you’re a newbie, don’t try to take it in all in at once. Ease your way into it and be aware of your boundaries.

2. Ignoring His Jewels – I understand that balls are not exactly the most attractive thing in the world, but don’t underestimate just how important they are when performing a blowjob. Now, don’t think that you can toss them around like a pair of golf balls. Being gentle is key.

3. Vary The Pressure – When it comes to felattio, slow and steady does not win the race. Play around with different pressures and speeds in order to keep things interesting. Try taking things slow if he’s on the verge of an orgasm and he’ll be begging you for more.

4. Using Your Teeth – While being too gentle is not a good thing, don’t resort to using your teeth when trying to play rough. Not only do you run the risk of cutting through his skin, but he will never want you to go down on him again. You might as well be wearing braces.

5. Acting Like You Can’t Be Bothered – If you don’t feel like giving head, don’t even try. Nothing is more of a turnoff than a girl who looks bored with a penis in her mouth. To make him feel like a king, show him that you’re loving every minute by touching other parts of his body and looking into his eyes every once in awhile.

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10 Thing You Should Know About Sex

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

Of course you probably think you know everything there is to know about sex. You’ve watched countless amounts of free porn, you’ve had over 50 partners, and you’ve done the dirty deed in places we could only imagine, but that doesn’t mean your a registered sexpert. There’s always room for a little extra know-how when it comes to the sex department.

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1. Anyone can get an STD, and I mean anyone. You should always wear a condom and you should know the right way to put it on or else your chances of waking up with a bad case of herpes will be a lot greater.

2. Pregnancy prevention requires a lot more thought and effort. Just because you pull out before you cum doesn’t mean that you girl wont get pregnant. There’s such things a pre cum that are just as good when it comes to knocking a girl up.

3. Sex and alcohol can have a bad outcome. Sure, when we’re drunk we get really horny, and so do chicks so it’s the perfect equation. But when you’re drunk, you’re also allot shittier at making good decisions which can lead to some pretty bad outcomes. You decide not to wear a condom, bam, you’re gonna be a daddy! Congratulations!

4. Choosing the chick you’re going to have sex with shouldn’t be so easy. You should be picky when it comes to sex partners. Don’t go out and fuck every ugly chick on campus simply because it’s just a bad idea.

5. It takes skills to please a woman. A chick’s body is even a mystery to most of them, therefore it’s often very unfamiliar territory for you. You need to do your research before hopping in the sac.

6. Men need to pace themselves. Sure, it would be great if we could just pound away until it was time for us to cum, but it’s not very polite. You should slow down and try and get her to enjoy the experience just as much as you are.

7. Everybody has different sexual needs. There are oat of generalizations about men, but women are different creatures. Any guy would be happy with a blow job, but when it comes to chicks, they each have their own personal preferences. Which brings me to the next point.

8. You have to communicate your desires. If you don’t explain what you like and vice versa, no one is ever going to be satisfied.

9. Sex has emotional impact on guys and girls. Science proves that women become attached to their sex partners more often then men, but guys still have some emotion under all that hair.

10. Sex is a relationship. Doesn’t matter if you only fuck the girl once, there is still a relationship that has been built between the two of you.

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To All The Cunning Linguists

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

While in a fit of passion, we’ve all been guilty of saying things we didn’t necessarily mean. However, sometimes it’s too late to take things back and we wind up in the good ol’ dog house. In order to avoid falling victim to your own words, read on for a list of the top seven things you should never – ever – say in bed.

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1. Mention Your Family – “Daddy” name-calling aside, bringing up your relatives in the middle of sex is disturbing – to say the very least. Why provide your partner with such a familiar mental picture in the middle of something so private and sexual?

2. Bring Up Your Ex – Perhaps the most common sex-related faux pas, bringing up your ex’s name will get you into a lot more trouble than you think. If you slip up and end up murmuring “John” without realizing it, denial is your best bet.

3. Call Attention To A Medical Condition – Whether you’ve previously contracted an STI or you have a extra toe, it’s never a good idea to bring those up mid-sex. Your partner might just get up and leave, never to be seen again.

4. Anything Involving The Word “Gross” – Sex is not always a pretty sight. When it comes to the naked human body, all sorts of factors could come into play. Sweat, excess hair, and peculiar noises are not necessarily pleasant, but they are certainly common. With that said, if for any reason you utter the word “gross”, consider the spark over and done with.

5. Use Pet Names For Your Penis – At the end of the day, a penis is a penis. Don’t try to impress your significant-other by calling it a shlong, a ding-dong or even worse, give it a personal name like ‘Kyle’. You’re just asking her to share this story with her friends and ensuring that she never sleeps with you again. In which case, bring on the free porn!

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The Art Of The Daytime Pick Up: Fun In The Sun Can Lead To Fun In The Sack

Monday, November 8th, 2010

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If you’re anything like the average man, you think of sex every seven seconds: have to wash the car, have sex, pick up groceries, sex, get a coffee, sex sex sex. Sure this can be a distraction, but in the mind of the right man it can also have the potential to lead to a satisfying existence infused with a hell of a lot of fucking. So what can the renaissance man of the 21st century do to spice up his days?

First off all, be on the lookout for your window of opportunity. There are specific places that hotties can be found during the day, and we’re not just talking the gym (although the gym is one of the best places to find a fit fox to fuck). Bank tellers, baristas, and secretaries are all positions filled with hot women – and positions where you don’t have to be overly qualified (read: smart) to apply. So, slip your number and a sexy note women in these positions and you could get lucky: there’s a reason a secretary, for example, is the target of free porn videos. It’s because many of them actually do wear thigh high stockings underneath their skirts just in case there’s a big cock on offer.

Despite the fact that you’re looking to get laid, subtlety is underrated. Remember that everyone else is thinking the same thing you are, so if you’re able to outsmart the rest of your gender, you’ll be the one taking home the hottest piece of ass. For example, women hate getting hit on at the gym – so don’t be one of the fools that makes a b-line for the honeys on the elliptical machines. It’s always a better idea to wait in an area close to the gym, perhaps a coffee shop across the street, where you can strike up a conversation naturally. Women hit the gym because they want to get laid – they’re looking to increase their chances by getting fit, and physical activity breeds the desire for more physical activity (read: sex, with you, if you play your cards right), so it’s not hard to get a gym goer into bed once you catch her off guard with conversation.

So, don’t delay. Use some of these tried and true techniques to have your daytime lead to playtime. After all, there’s nothing worse than waiting at a bar all night to pick up while the real studs are home pounding personal trainers because they outmaneuvered you.

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Smelling Sexy: A Sure Fire Way To Increase Your Appeal With Members Of The Opposite Sex

Sunday, November 7th, 2010

terry-richardson-tom-ford-perfume-porn-photo-1It’s common knowledge that good hygiene will increase your chances of getting laid, and the math is fairly simple: grooming + bathing = better sex. Smell is often underrated on the hygiene hierarchy, but don’t be fooled – members of both genders want a partner that smells good, and surface smell is a good indication of what their junk will smell like when you get them undressed.

Still, specific smells have never been linked to sexual prowess, causing men and women alike to splurge on cologne and perfume at alarming rates. That is, specific smells haven’t been linked to sexual prowess until now. A new study documented in Judy Dutton’s recent book – Secrets from the Sex Lab, has indicated that men are most attracted to the smell of pumpkin pie mixed with lavender. Women on the other hand, are apparently drawn towards the odor of cucumbers mixed with the candy Good and Plenty.

This is a joke right? Or an advertisement for Good and Plenty? Apparently not. The mean attractiveness of these smells has been measured scientifically using increases in blood flow – with pumpkin pie and lavender increasing blood flow in men by 40% and cucumber and candy increasing blood flow in women by 14%. What’s so special about blood flow you might ask? Well, it’s increased during sex, especially in men, who need extra blood flow to maintain an erection (this isn’t porn where blood flow is magical people!)

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What isn’t clear in the aforementioned study however, is the why. Why are these particular smells linked to sexual behavior, and how can such a large increase in blood flow be attributed to a simple scent? While answers may be forthcoming, what we do know is that this is a mighty blow to Old Spice guy. That is, unless Old Spice plans on releasing a deodorant scented like cucumbers and Good and Plenty – just think of how much action Old Spice guy would get then!

Libraries: The New Place To Bone Up On Your Sexual Prowess?

Sunday, November 7th, 2010

By now you know Old Spice Guy – men want to be him and women want to be with him. If Old Spice Guy has given us anything (and he’s given us a lot), it’s a series of terrific parodies, and one in particular got us thinking about libraries. Sure, everyone’s been to the library to do research or find fake references for a paper, but the library has a lot of unexplored sexual potential: namely, the librarian.

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Librarians have a sex appeal that women in other fields of employment don’t have. Certainly fashion has something to do with this. Librarians dress a lot like stewardesses, making sure their appearance is immaculate and incorporating skirts and stockings into their wardrobe. It’s a feminine discipline, and of course the naughty librarians make sure they’re wearing thigh high stockings in case the right opportunity to speed their legs comes along.

The physicality of librarianship isn’t the only turn on however. Bookish types are quiet and smart with big imaginations – the types of imaginations that can lead to incredible fuck. So, should the library be a go to place to bone up on your sexual prowess? We say: why not? There are certainly worse places for a steamy session than between the book stacks, and your hot local librarian may have some new ideas up her sleeve (or skirt as the case may be).

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So the next time your at the library, make sure to be on the lookout for an opportunity to make a pass at one of the shy girls behind the front desk. We recommend taking out an erotic book to give her the hint, and following that up with friendly conversation. Who knows, maybe it’ll play out like free porn and you’ll get lucky!

10 Ways To Increase Your Sperm Count

Friday, November 5th, 2010

Nov 4 orgasm.com1Maybe you’re trying to knock up some broad, maybe you’re trying to make the best sperm cocktail you can make for a slut to drink, or maybe you just want to feel more manly and you think that increasing your sperm count will do just that.

Whatever your motives may be, there are actual ways out there that can create more man juice for your enjoyment!

I hate to say it, but if you want to bust a big nut, then you’re going to have to have sex and masturbate less often. The more times you cum, the less dense your semen will be. Try and maintain a gap of three whole days, yes I said 3 days, between 2 consecutive ejaculations.

Refrain from all of your most favorite habits. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs affect your liver function, which will cause a dramatic rise in estrogen levels. Even a measly two drinks a day will have long term effects on sperm production.

I know you’re probably already a hot stud with six pack abs, but if you’re not, then you’re going to want to hop on that treadmill. Also, exercising your PC muscles will help you shoot your load further than you’ve ever done before.

Eating healthy will have more benefits than just increasing sperm count. Diets that are low in fat and high in protein, vegetables, and whole grains is the way to go. Try and avoid bitter, astringent and spicy foods, along with caffeine.

You want your manhood to be able to breathe. Wearing tightie whiteies will only decrease your sperm count. Wear loose, cotton boxer shorts and avoid hot baths and saunas. You want to keep your boys away from the heat.

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Lose any excess weight because being fat will cause testosterone/oestrogen imbalances.

Because your not having sex as often, your probably feeling a lot more stressed. Try and learn other relaxation techniques besides watching porn and try something different like meditation or yoga.

Instead of having your girl massage sensual oils all over your body, have some alone time and do it to yourself with herbal oil because it will improve blood circulation.

Get off the steroids and try some natural supplements that promise to increase sperm production.

Get all of your fucking done and over with in the early morning or afternoon because your sperm levels are often highest in the morning!

The Sex Files: What’s Your Type?

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

You just broke up with your long term girlfriend and your buddies have called for a night out on the town to get you off the couch and out of the house, for that matter.

You tell them that you’re not really feeling up for it, until you realize that the only thing that is going to get you over your ex is to go out and have a nice one night stand with a sexually experienced chick that you meet at the bar.

Before you head out, you must first decide what type of chick you are going to want to bring home with you. There are a lot of different things to consider and a lot of different types of women to analyze.

The Party Girl“: These chicks love to drink and if they’re drunk it will be a lot easier to convince them to sleep with you. Even if you’re not the best looking guy, a good set of beer goggles can make any man look like Brad Pitt. Being wasted allows for all inhibitions to be thrown out the window and these chicks will more then likely be down for anything in the bedroom. However, you might have to do it in the bathroom so they can have easy access to the toilet to puke whenever they’re feeling queasy. And, if they’re too wasted, they could just pass out on you and lie there like a dead fish and leave all the work up to you. Actually, scientists say that party girls are often the ones who leave all the work up to the men when it comes to sex. This is probably not your best choice.

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The Gymnastics Girl“: This chick is super hot and has a great body. Not too mention she can bend like a pretzel and put herself in positions you’ve only seen on some freaky porn. Maybe she has a set of rings in her bedroom and can do the splits. The downsize is that they might see sex as an athletic activity and freak you out when she tries to beat you in a naked push up contest.

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The Smart Girl“: Take off the glasses and the collared shirt and maybe we have something here. Or maybe not. At least smart girls will know all there is to know about sex because they’ve probably read about it in the America Sex Journal. Most guys think that smart girls talk too much and you have to listen to them. According to the University of Guelph, college girls are more comfortable with sex, get aroused easier, and more likely to talk dirty. Scientists say that smart girls are better in bed because they can read our body language, take direction and they can communicate erotically. Therefore, they have the know-how to rock in bed.

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But, don’t take my word for it, go try it out yourself now that you know what type of chick is your best bet when you want a hot one night stand!

Is Bigger Better?: The Best Celebrity Breast Implants

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Hollywood has always been built on smoke an mirrors – it’s a land where illusion is greater than reality and bigger is always better. Case in point: celebrity breasts. Since the advent of breast implants, breast size has shot through the roof in Hollywood, with breast implants being as prevalent as fake tans since the early 2000′s. Take an organization like World Wrestling Entertainment for example – over 95% of the women in wrestling have breast implants, and it’s now considered a requirement for the job. So let’s take a look at some of the biggest celebrities with boob jobs, in ascending order of breast size.

Victoria Beckham

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One half of the hottest celebrity couple in the UK, Victoria Beckham has been known to deny that she has fake tits. Her implants tell another story however – while not huge in size, their perfectly round shape make Beck’s breasts undeniably fake. Really, Victoria should sue whoever did this to her – it looks as if she’s has a couple of baseballs sewn under her skin – as she has one of the worst boobs jobs in Hollywood.

Christina Aguilera

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Aguilera’s breasts grew somewhere between her Genie in a Bottle phase, and her transformation to dirty denizen of pop sluthood. While she suffers from serious clown-face (a medical condition that makes whores look a lot like Ronald McDonald) these days, her tits still look just right. We give Christina a thumbs up for choosing the perfect size and shape for her girls – maybe she’ll consider a career in porn next?

Pamela Anderson

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At one time, Pamela Anderson was Hollywood’s preeminent sex symbol. Multiple appearances in Playboy, a sex tape, and the revelation that she has Hep-C later, and she’s just another celebrity is huge tits. She’ll be remembered as an innovator however, as her popularity ushered in a wave of women who got boob jobs to complete.

Heidi Montag

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Heidi Montag is the modern prototype of success in Hollywood. Montag built her star on reality television, and now that her status has declined has turned to plastic surgery for attention. And what a Frankensteinian transformation! Heidi opted to go way too big in every respect, effectively ruining her body and transforming herself into an alien posing as a plastic fuck doll. While Christina Aguilera is a good role model for girls who want breast implants, Montag should be everyone’s warning.

The Most Fuckable Extra Terrestrials

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

I’m not going to lie, I’ve always been a closet treky. I love everything about sci-fi and I’m finally ready to admit it. I’m even part of a club dedicated to enjoying everything about Star Trek, Star Wars, and anything else that is incredibly nerdy.

Now, I know most of you are thinking that I’m totally lame for being into all of this nerdy shit, but let me tell you, there are some pretty hot chicks on these shows and in these books that are completely fuckable.

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Connie Conehead from The Coneheads: Sure, she has a huge head, but her face is pretty hot. And if you don’t like the head, you could always put an extra large garbage bag on top of it.

Evie from Out of This World: Remember this hot half alien? I always fantasized about fucking her when she was on the show. But now she’s even older and hotter. Maybe she could freeze time mid-fuck by putting her two fingers together.

LEELOO from The Fifth Element: She’s dumber than a brick, but she’s really hot and lives up to her “perfect being” reputation.

Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager: The bedazzled catsuit that she struts around in as the Borg refugee who joined the crew of the Starship Voyager gave me an instant boner every time I would see her.

Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica: This bad ass would be perfect in the bedroom because you know she would be prepared with her whips and chains. Bring it on!

Celeste Martin from My Stepmother in An Alien: This sexy stepmom was the fantasy of all of my wet dreams from 1988 until present day.

Sil from Species: A woman created with DNA codes from outer space who loves to be naked and really likes sex; it can’t get much better than that. However, there is one downfall, what if she is prone to killing her mate afterwards? Well, that’s a sacrifice I would probably be willing to take.

After you’ve read this I’m sure there will be a lot of you that will take an interest in Sci-fi because it’s not just about outer space and de-coding, it’s also about hot chicks in sleek spacesuits that are not only eye candy, but great fantasies for your dreams and when you’re jacking off of course. I’m sure there is also some space alien porn out there that you could get into as well.

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