If you thought balloon and foot fetishes were bad, wait until you hear about the sexual endevours within the wild kingdom. Some species have such a wild approach to sex that it puts even the biggest pervert to shame. Below, we’ll look into some of the most bizarre sexual encounters amongst animals. Perhaps they can teach you thing or two about how to spice things up in the bedroom.

1. Chinese Fruit Bats – It is no coincidence that men place flexible women at such a high level. And if there is one animal that knows all about the importance of body contorting, it’s the Chinese fruit bat. Leaving free porn to shame, these creatures are not only capable of having sex upside down, but the female can then bend down and perform oral sex on her partner. A double whammy we can only dream about.

2. Triggerfish – Now here’s something that your average transexual could only dream about. Triggerfish – which are colorful fish of the Balistidae family – are always born female. Living solely amongst other females of it’s kind, the most powerful and masculine ‘lady’ of the bunch eventually turns into a male. Producing sperm and eventually impregnating other members of the school. No need to go to Thailand for a sex change on the cheap.

3. Zombie Salmon – By now you are are all well-aware of the fact that salmon swim upstream in order to mate. What you didn’t know is how brutal things can get in the process. Facing such a drastic change from salt to freshwater actually causes them to start dying in the process. What you are left with is essentially a big salmon orgy of half dead, zombie-like fish. Not the most pleasant of thoughts when sex is concerned.

4. Bees – They don’t call them ‘Queen Bees’ for nothing. When the bee of all bees decides to call upon a male suitor for reproduction purposes, the sex is pretty standard – until the male decides to pull out, that is. Once over and done with, the male’s member remains attached to the females body, therefor disemboweling and consequently killing her partner.

5. Giraffes – When humans want to keep tabs on their ovulating cycle, they can simply take a store-bought test. For giraffes however, it is a far more painful process. When females are ovulating, their hormones causes their urine to smell a certain way – which means males have to resort to drinking said piss in order to deem a female fertile (or not). Proof that humans aren’t the only ones with a penchant for golden showers.