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Withdrawal


Withdrawal is the removal of the penis from the vagina before ejaculation occurs. It is a form of birth control that, when done perfectly, is 96% effective.

The reason? Because most scientists agree that there is no viable sperm in the pre-cum that comes out before ejaculation. The problem is that if the man had an ejaculation earlier that day, then some of that sperm can get trapped in the pre-cum of the following sexual episode, and that can get the woman pregnant. The solution? Take a piss or two before having the next round of sex. The piss flushes out all the sperm from the previous ejaculation.

Unfortunately they recently did a study and some scientists did find semen in the pre-cum, so there you go. I’m not sure who to believe, and I just don’t have the energy to do any more research. Do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Basically that’s the whole issue: is there sperm in the pre-cum? If not, fuck away and squirt your cum on her tits or ass. If it does, well, withdrawal is kind of dangerous.

Withdrawal doesn’t do shit to protect you from sexually transmitted infections. So, unless you’ve both been to the clinic recently, wrap it up with a condom. If you’ve both been to the doctor and got a clean bill of health, feel free to try withdrawal.

It’s definitely the best method, if you can get it to work for you. Let’s face it: condoms suck. They lessen the sensation and interrupt the flow when you have to stop to put one on. Sex is all about the feeling of a pussy on your dick, so a condom just fucks that up to begin with. Then there’s the pill. It’s great for the guy during sex, but the extra hormones that it puts into your lady can make her into a crazier bitch than normal. True, it sometimes also makes her tits a little bigger, but increased bitchiness is not worth it.

If not used correctly, the withdrawal method is about 75% effective. So it’s still better than nothing. Plus, shooting your cum all over a hot woman is always a treat. There are certain positions that you should use when you employ the withdrawal method. Doggy style and missionary position are good because the man is in control, and can easily pull out. Any position where the woman is on top is dangerous, because you might not be able to tell her in time for her to jump off. Make sure you’re in control at the end, cowboy.

There are no side effects to the withdrawal method, except your lady will end up with a very salty back.

1. Barry made sure to always practice the withdrawal method with his wife so that she never got pregnant. He wasn’t so careful with their babysitter. In his defense, the babysitter is eighteen, and squirting inside her must have been heaven.

2. Mr. and Mrs. Hitler should have used the withdrawal method so we didn’t end up with Adolph.

RELATED TERMS:

Coitus Interruptus

Condom 


 

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