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After engaging in anal sex with a female, the male partner rests his soiled testes on her eyes. The anal material is transferred from your nuts to around her eyes, making her appearance resemble the face of a raccoon. It is a classy, classy maneuver, and one that you should only perform on someone for whom you have the utmost respect for.
It is another in a long series of ballsack moves that I really don’t understand. There can’t be any pleasure involved in resting your balls on a woman’s eyes. I suppose if she flutters her eyelids, you might get a little tickling sensation, but that’s hardly worth the effort.
It’s like teabagging. I just don’t understand how either the man or the woman gets any pleasure from dipping the balls in and out of the woman’s mouth. Now, if she sucked on them, that would be a different story. But teabagging by definition does not involve any sucking, humming, or nibbling. It’s a waste of time, when you could be doing so many more things that bring a great deal of pleasure. Like a blowjob.
I suppose both teabagging and raccoon goggles are both somewhat degrading to the woman, so if you’re trying to incorporate some dom/sub humiliation, it makes sense. You certainly have the power in a sexual dynamic if you’re rubbing the shit off your balls and onto the eyes of your partner. I could see how it would be amusing, but the woman is at risk of getting a bad case of pink eye with fecal particles that close to her eyeballs.
Ha! Eye balls.
My favorite move incorporating my balls is when I’m having sex with a woman, and she’s in the pile driver position. I put my cock in her pussy and then reach around and stuff my balls into her anus. If you’re going to try it, remember to put your balls in one at a time! Then you move up and down, making your cock slide in and out of her pussy while your balls pull on her asshole from the inside. It’s an advanced double penetration, but one that always works for me and the woman I do it with.
Another great testicle-based move is called the Ball and Oats. On your special lady’s birthday, you serve her breakfast in bed. On the serving tray, you have a bowl of oatmeal and, beside it on a napkin, your balls. Keep your nuts away from the bowl, boys – that shit’ll burn you.
1. Harry was looking for a way to break up with his girlfriend Mary. She had been a real pain in the neck lately, and a cute little hottie at his local pub had let him know she was interested in him. So, one night after giving Mary some quality anal sex, Harry performed a textbook Raccoon Goggles on her. She got really mad and broke up with him. Ta-da!
2. Edward James Olmos respects women too much to try Raccoon Goggles.
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