The Kentucky Tractor Puller is the act of a male and a male, or male and a female performing anal sex. During sex the receiver clenches their butt-cheeks tightly and runs with the penis still in the buttocks.
We’ve all been there.
I remember the first time I fell victim. My university girlfriend Nicole and I were alone in my dorm room. We had been fucking steadily since we had hooked up at a frat party a few weeks earlier, and I felt it was time to take our relationship to the next logical level: ass fucking. She was an ass virgin, but was open-minded. I did some preliminary research on the subject by reviewing all my ass-fucking porn tapes, and it seemed like all I needed to do was go slow at first.
She told me that she wanted me to lie back on the bed with my legs over the side. Then she would stand on the floor, and ride me in reverse cowgirl position. I held my stiff, meaty dick in place as she pressed her brown button against it. Her asshole was super tight, and wouldn’t budge. I spit in my hand and lubed up the tip of my dick. The head moved inside her, but then stopped. She needed a break already.
She told me that she was feeling some pain. I told her that it was natural her first time, but that like vaginal sex, would feel good if she kept at it. There was some urgency in my voice, as I recall, because the head of my cock was really being squeezed hard. I spit on my hand again, and lubed up my shaft and told her to try to take a little more cock in her ass. She held her breath and pushed herself down about two more inches.
It was two inches too much for her. I felt her asshole clench as she screamed with pain and started to walk away from me. I was locked into her asshole, so I was forced to sit up, stand up, and walk forward with her. She kept saying “Ow, Ow Ow” as we walked around in circles in my room. I was trying to get her to stop so I could slowly disembark from her crust cave, but she couldn’t stop walking around.
Just then, my dorm roommate walks in. He told me he would be out all afternoon. Nicole jumps and runs back to hide under the covers in my bed, giving me a difficult and painful Kentucky Tractor Puller in the process. I yell at my roommate to get out and give us a few minutes. He rushes out, embarrassed, telling me that he’s going to crash at his girlfriend’s that night.
I calm Nicole down, still trapped in her asshole. We smoke a little of the wheelchair weed I had, and I feel her asshole loosen a little. I pull out. I’m free. We tried again with a lot more sex lube, and eventually she got the hang of it. So much so, that I was using a bowling pin on her ass by the time we went to graduation.
The lesson I learned? Lube, patience, and grass will bring you home.
1. Mr. T threatened to give Eddie Murphy a devastating Kentucky Tractor Puller.
2. To immediately release yourself from the Kentucky Tractor Puller, begin urinating in the asshole that is holding you.
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