The 80s and 90s have yielded some of the finest cinematic masterpieces. We laughed, we cried and we learned that if you give Rob Lowe a saxophone the ladies will cum in their pants. Without further ado, Orgasm.com presents the first ever pornification of four classic films. After the jump discover how we sexed up your favorite movies.
St. Elmo’s Fire – “A group of friends, just out of college, struggle with adulthood. Their main problem is that they’re all self-centered and obnoxious.”
Now with the wave of my XXX magic wand, it becomes pornofied!
St. Elmo’s Pussy – A group of friends, just out of college, struggle to find the time to get together for a gangbang. Luckily Wendy Beamish let’s Billy Hicks shoot his load all over her tits.
Boyz In The Hood – “Once upon a time in South Central LA…it ain’t no fairy tale. Increase the peace.”
And with the waive of my magic wand John Singleton’s saga about a group of friends growing up in the ghetto becomes almost as dirty as the free HD porn Orgasm.com supplies you with.
Pussy In The Hood – Once upon a time in South Central LA Tre Styles gives it Brandi while Ricky scores a 710 on his SATs but gets shot before he can attend USC.
Forrest Gump – “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
I waive my XXX wand all over Jenny’s tits and we turn her into Jazy Berlin. Now we have the super sex version of Tom Hanks’ Oscar winning performance of a guy who is a little slow but somehow manages to do a ton of crap like inspire John Lennon to write “Imagine”, expose the Watergate scandal and play for the University of Alabama under the legendary Bear Bryant where he gets to sit out on the two-minute drill workouts.
Pussy Gump - Life is like a box of free HD porn. You never know who you’re going to fuck after playing ping pong for the US Army team. Cum Forrest, cum!
Top Gun – “I feel the need, the need for speed.”
Before I waive my XXX wand and turn one of the greatest bromance films of all time into a free HD porn experience, let me get this out of the way: To this day, whenever I hear “Playing with the Boys” by Kenny Loggins I think about volleyball. I don’t think about Maverick’s glistening body or anything, it’s more like “Oh man, Val Kilmer didn’t used to be fat.” Okay here it is, Top Gun the sex version.
Top Pussy - I feel the need, the need for pussy at all times. Seriously Goose, you’re supposed to be my wingman. Go find me some babes to bang before I become a Scientologist and marry that chick from Dawson’s Creek. Take my breath away with some hot pussy before the gay rumors start flying and I jump up and down on Oprah’s couch.
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