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The term Vanilla is a slang term for sex that doesn’t involve any fetish activity or kinkiness. In other words, plain sex. Like vanilla ice cream. Plain ice cream, plain sex.
Many use the term in a disparaging way, in order to make fun of someone. Like telling someone their boring or lame for enjoying sex that is considered unadventurous. It’s hard to tell what’s considered vanilla sex at this point. Most would agree that missionary is vanilla, though many would include that in their sexual buffet. Usually it’s when people tend to have the same type of sex over and over again. Say you were always kissing, then some ‘heavy petting’ (what a stupid fucking phrase….where are we, the zoo?), then maybe a bit of oral, then straight to missionary, every time you had sex. That would probably be deemed as vanilla in some people’s eyes. Having said that, anal sex used to be considered kinky and taboo (and still is by some), but these days, most people engage in some form of anal play, and lots of couples have anal sex. Men and women, straight, gay or lesbian. It’s starting to move into the more basic arena of sex, whereas BDSM, S&M, Breath Play and other forms of kink are still considered to be taboo by much of society.
So why is vanilla sex sneered at? Well, for some, it might be because they’re trying to prove themselves sexually. They want to show outsiders that they have an interesting, engaging and adventurous sex life, so they roll their eyes at other people for having boring sex. For others, it could be that they feel shame around their own kinks and making fun of vanilla sex helps them to feel less shame. It’s a way to measure one’s sex life over another’s, which is really rather silly. Most people will be considered vanilla to someone out there. There are people who are pissing and shitting on their partner and looking at threesomes with a chick getting double-teamed as boring or lame. That chick who’s getting double teamed is looking at her lesbian friend who has nice soft flowery lesbian sex (you know, the kind without strap-ons that no-one really maintains with a lover for long, unless that lover has weird abuse issues…if so, get out. Now.) and thinking her sex life is super boring, while some born-again Christian is looking at that lesbian couple and thinking they’re the utmost deviant couple ever.
It’s all subjective. None of it really matters. If you’re having sex that you’re happy with, your partner(s) are satisfied, you’re satisfied, and everyone’s getting their needs met without hurting anyone (who doesn’t want to be hurt, that is), who gives a fuck? Just enjoy your organs before they’re too old to remember how good it felt to have someone else rub up against them.
1. Sex with my boyfriend is so vanilla. He just wants to ‘make love’ all the time. How can I break it to him that I want to start pegging him?
2. This vanilla bean ice cream tastes better than jizz.
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