Sex Porn Dictionary

>

J

>

Joined at the Dick


This term is reserved for two heterosexual men or ‘bros’ who cannot be mentioned without the other because they never leave each other’s side. They’re having more than just a bromance, they’re having a broaffair. A brorelationship. A bromarriage.

My partner is like that with his best friend. When they get together I pretty much don’t understand anything they say to each other. It’s all Monty Python and Shakespeare quotes and weird inside jokes they’ve had since they were thirteen. Most dudes who are joined at the dick are geeks at heart. They know they can’t completely geek out with their girlfriends (unless their girlfriends are super geeks too) so they save it for their bromance.

When two dudes are joined at the dick they do all the same things that anyone does in a relationship. They finish each other’s sentences. They know each other’s favourite foods, including their ideal meal at each restaurant they go to and their back up meal. They know what the other does when they’re down and out and they know exactly what it will take to cheer them up (in the case of my boyfriend, two shots of whiskey, a bag of bridge mix, and a night of The Walking Dead….of course I know this but I just don’t have the same touch that Mike does.). They know all of the most important moments in the other’s life. A dude remembers when his bro broke his arm playing football when he was trying to impress Carla who was two years his senior and had the bounciest fullest boobs he’d ever seen. In turn, his bro remembers when he fell of his bike trying to do tricks to impress Leah, the band geek who’s virginity he hoped to take by the end of grade eleven.

Bros get each other. Joined at the dick.

Chicks are joined at the pussy, sure, but it’s different. We can play the intimacy card and nobody notices. We know everything about each other and that’s totally normal. We love each other with our whole hearts and nobody throws us a second glance. Really, it’s all just loving friendships, but for some reason with dudes we have to make fun of them because otherwise it’s gay. And nobody wants to get all gay with his best bro. Meanwhile us ladies are having pillow fights in our bras and panties and those pillow fights are turning into hot nights of passion. I’m so glad I’m a woman. I can touch boobs whenever I want to. I can look at pussy any day of the week. Real pussy, not just porn pussy.

1. Those two have always been joined at the dick. Look at them, getting ready to go camping together, planning on sharing the same tent. It’s gonna be one big circle jerk in that tent tonight.

2. Last time I was joined at the dick with anyone it all fell apart when he got married. Now my straight dick is lonely, even though my girlfriend sucks it dry every night.

RELATED TERMS:

Bromance

Gay

Get your social on