Erotophilia refers to persons who are very open and positive about sex. Like me! These sorts of people are getting to be more and more plentiful as our society moves away from the backward position that religion had forced on people for thousands of years. Let’s take a look at what the church says about sex:
1. Condoms are bad.
Condoms are not bad. Condoms keep unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases at bay when you’re having hot, crazy sex with the random guy or girl you met at the bar. Plus, they make excellent water balloons on boring summer days.
2. Masturbation is wrong.
If masturbation is wrong, I don’t want to be right. There are two kinds of people in this world. People who say they masturbate, and liars. It feels good. It’s natural and harmless. It’s why Sasha Grey exists. I’m still on a daily.
3. Gay sex is bad.
If God created everything, then he created gay people. If God is love, why would he discriminate? HUH? Could God make a gay guy so gay that not even he could out-dance him? Think about it.
4. Circumcision is good.
Don’t get me started. Look at the Dickipedia def for circumcision for my views.
5. Pornography is bad.
Again, Sasha Grey. It’s literally the biggest business on the internet.
6. Women have to be virgins until they get married.
Thanks to that belief, Christian women have anal and oral sex until they get married, so technically they’re still vaginal virgins. Actually, that one seems to have worked out.
7. Birth control is a sin.
Such a stupid position that it defies common sense. The real sin is for all these random yahoos to have huge families in an already overcrowded world.
Does any of that sound logical, natural, or reasonable? Let me answer for you. No.
But, thanks to erotophiliacs, a more sensible and positive view about sex has blossomed. Sex experts are the best at erotophilia. They are no-nonsense doctors that tell it like it is. Sex is normal, natural, and amazing. It is fun and meant to be enjoyed throughout your life. By yourself or with others. All they say is to be safe and smart. Now that is logical.
I was raised Catholic, so I was surrounded by all sorts of crazy mixed messages. They tell all the boys not to think about sex, and then dress all the girls up in short kilts. They tell us to wait until marriage to have sex, and then say that God impregnated Mary on their first date. They guilt us into believing masturbation is wrong, and then the priests have all sorts of sex with the alter boys. It is insane.
So, yeah, enough of my anti-organized religion rant. You can believe what you want, but I think sex is great. And since I know everything about everything, you should listen to me.
1. Dr. Ruth was the first and shortest sex professional to bring erotophilia to the masses.
2. Hippies usually raise their kids with an erotophilia outlook on sex.
RELATED TERMS: