If a lesbian finds a woman attractive at a coffee shop or a bar, and thinks there is flirting happening, only to learn that the woman is straight, what’s going on? If a woman who is interested in experimenting with other women lives in a smaller community, how does she find women who might be interested in dating her?

Thankfully, most women are not upset if another woman flirts with them. After all, women are used to be approached by men all the time, and are more comfortable with social contact. Most women are not threatened by lesbians, and, in fact, can be flattered by the approach. Female homophobia is pretty much uncommon, to the point that straight women are approached by gay and bisexual women all the time.

For a woman who is beginning to experiment with other women, flirting is a great way to start. Most women are comfortable with flirting from women as well as men. Women are often more subtle about their sexual interests, so flirting is an important first step to catch the attention of another bisexual woman or a lesbian who is looking.

Of course, there are far fewer lesbians than there are heterosexual women. That can make it challenging for a lesbian to find a potential date in smaller towns and communities that don’t have gay bars. It can feel frustrating, both for the woman interested in expanding her sexual horizons, and for a lesbian living in that community.

A gay lady might get frustrated by she will do well to remember that straight guys often have the same difficulties. Many men ask several women out before one says yes. The level of confidence is key, an assumption of potential success that eventually someone will say yes will keep one in the game. It is a good lesson for lesbians looking for a date: if there a sense of confidence, that there is someone out there, that confidence will carry over in the way she presents herself.

Lucky for all of us, whatever our sexual proclivities, kinks and fetishes, even religious affiliations, what we are looking for we can find in the on-line dating world. Sites made just for gay men, lesbian ladies, or single people looking for spanking are all over the net so the flirting can happen in the safe confines on-line as much as the wacky unpredictable real world.