As sex addiction is bandied around these days as an almost cause célčbre malady, it is as prevalent for men and women to become addicted to the roles they play in the bedroom, even the roles they play in the everyday action of their marriage. A man who becomes every much the typical pussy-whipped hubby can assume a submissive pose when having sex with his wife as when cleaning the kitchen. The put-upon woman afraid to confront her husband’s consistent disapproval might just do all she can to accommodate her man as much in bed as out.
Guys and girls who enjoy some sort of kink play, can even see their specific actions and mindset follow them out of a play space or scene, often to just as insidious results. They might begin to live their kink as part of their life or simply want that kink to be their life
For most, the fun of kink is that it is not real, that both partners know it is fantasy, and that, for the most part, a couple takes a break from their everyday lives and whatever their roles might be in those lives to either accentuate certain parts of their personalities or completely flip their experience for something they never encounter in real life. If one maintains the kink life beyond playing, if roles we are in real life become very much the role we play at in a kink scene, we do run the risk of not knowing where the kink stops and real life begins.
Complete immersion in what we want sexually, during even the moments of our lives when we aren’t exercising our lusts, can be exhausting to say the least!
But a good many kinksters are not looking to make a distinction, to delineate between what they do in kink and what they do in life. For many couples there is no separation. These men and women employ a Herculean effort keeping their kink alive all the time. The slightest slip from the pose threatens not only the loss of erotica for the partners it also means a loss of self, of who one is as much as what one wants.
Identity for these kinksters is part and parcel with their play.