A buddy of mine told me something in confidence. I told him I would take this story to the grave. Turns out, I’m not a good friend. Some stories just need to be told. Ryan (not his real name) was dating this very quiet girl, a real carpenter’s dream. So quiet in fact that if you were right next to her when she was speaking, you couldn’t hear what she was saying. It’s akin to the Seinfeld episode with the low talker where Jerry is forced to wear the “puffy shirt” on the Today Show. She was cute so we didn’t give Ryan any flack about dating a chick who barely spoke and when she did no one was privy to what she was saying unless you had supersonic hearing. Like most men, Ryan assumed that quiet girls were animals in bed. He was right. After the jump find out why their sex life was so….hilarious.
You can only imagine where this is going. The first time Ryan and quiet girl had sex there was nothing to write home about. They watched some free porn to get in the mood and banged. He said he was giving her his best XXX moves. He said she appeared bored. He claimed she even yawned at one point. He wasn’t having that so he asked her what was wrong with their fucking. She sat him down and explained that she would prefer if they would both wear clown makeup the next time they fucked and if it was all right with him she’d like to wear a red rubber nose as well. Luckily Ryan does not suffer from coulrophobia (fear of clowns) and was okay with the whole thing.
He said it was messy. There was makeup all over the sheets. The red rubber nose was unsettling to say the least. However, his ladyfriend was going buck wild while they were having sex so he obliged her clown fantasies every time they fucked. Ryan told me this in confidence because he’s embarrassed about the whole thing and even though they broke up months ago he’s sent Bozo the Clown Girl some drunk texts which lead to them hooking up again both dressed like the villain from Stephen King’s It. To ease Ryan’s mind I did find some naughty pics of everyone’s favorite free porn honey Lexi Belle dressed as a clown.
And for those of you who are really into some weird stuff, here’s free porn starlet Lexi Belle in Joker makeup. Hot? Ryan thinks so. He also thinks Lexi Belle fucking her teacher is hot too.
Tags: Free Porn, Lexi Belle, Sex, XXX