A higher-ranking skank. This is a term used affectionately amongst the gay society to identify a leading skank. It may also be found among cheerleaders. The head cheerleader may not be the queen skank necessarily, but if she ends up fucking any of the other cheerleader’s boyfriends, she will automatically earn the title. Girls only get called skanks if they fuck their friends’ boyfriends. That’s how it works.
There are certain responsibilities that come with being the Queen Skank in the queer community. You have to be super bitchy to anyone who talks to you. You CANNOT leave the house without your make-up on. You can leave the house with curlers in your hair and in a housecoat and slippers, but you MUST have make up on, even if it’s running all over your face and you look like a fucked up coke addict. You have to use hand gestures. You should probably consider getting an eating disorder, or at least making it look like you have one. You must pretend to hate and be totally grossed out by anal sex, or anything anal related. In the privacy of your bedroom you can get pegged as much as you like and to your hearts desire, but you have to carry out all kinds of judgment in the public eye about when it comes to ass pounding. You must own a tiny dog. This dog has to have some form of glitter and jewels on its body and should normally be tucked into your purse. You obviously will need a tiara, so get on that immediately. You need some skanky girlfriends who worship you in public and have a serious hate on for you in private. They need to be jealous and a little stupid. You should have a boyfriend whose super butch and who you don’t actually have sex with because the dude you’re actually fucking is, like, this fifty-year-old fat fag who’s balding and works as an accountant for Disney.
In order to get the high rank of Queen Skank you have to be all of these things and more. Like Lady Gaga, you have to perform as a queen at all times. You cannot throw on sweat pants if you need to go to the store for milk and you certainly can’t play sports or listen to Nickleback or let your leg hair grow out. You need to wish desperately that you had a vagina but hate that non-existent vagina at the same time. You need to have a therapist, but not a shrink. Most of all, you need to be righteous, all the time.
1. My gay best friend has just been promoted to Queen Skank! She totally deserves it. She’s a total bitch-whore and she constantly makes me feel bad about my looks and my body. I love her so much.
2. I’m going to be the Queen Skank as soon as I kill the bitch that currently holds the title. She’s such a slut.
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