Posts Tagged ‘submissive’

Power Exchange

Friday, June 17th, 2011

The nature of sexual power exchange is the idea that a person, within the context of erotic play, gives up control to another person; but in reality it is a bit more complicated than that and, as with a lot of sexual and erotic interests and play, it is very important to read as much as possible, take classes, and talk to people before trying it out. One reason why this is important is that the reality of power exchange play is that the person that many people assume is in control is not really: the bottom, submissive, or slave is the one who is actually in control as they always, for matter of safely, be able to change or alter the play at any time. The master or dominant is the one who has to be responsible and must always be willing to change the scene to protect and keep safe the person they are playing with. The dominant or master may have the attitude or such of being in control but if the other person involved ever wants the play or scene to change they that dominant or master must immediately respond to their needs.

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Part of the way this can happen is through what are called safe-words: a code that the submissive can say that will be a signal to the dominant that they want the play to change. The words, ideally, should be ones that won’t be used commonly to avoid confusion and it’s best to have a specific few words at the ready to indicate levels ;darker colors for instance to indicate the play is growing ever more intense or painful This is also why communication must be there are all times, so that the submissive can talk to the dominant and vice versa. The dominant, too, must be able to say at any time that they are uncomfortable or do not want to proceed.

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So, while power exchange can be an effective erotic component of kink play, it’s best to always learn as much about it before you try it out with anyone else so you can play safely for a very long time. There are so many levels to what we might seek sexually that it is best we keep open to all possibilities.

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Spanking Implements

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

imagesPeople that enjoy spanking, whether giving or receiving, usually have a lot of knowledge about spanking implements. There are many different types of spanking implements and nearly every type of spanking implement is available in a variety of materials. Each material provides a different feeling, a different sting or thud, and people who enjoy being spanked can often tell what they’re being hit with by how it feels when it smacks their skin.

Everyone has their favorite implement or sometimes a few implements that they enjoy. Spankers usually have implements that they love to spank with. These are most likely implements that feel good in their hand because they are perfectly constructed and balanced. These implements always give the perfect smack without a lot of planning and effort by the user. They make a really pleasing sound when they come in contact with skin of the receiver. It’s easy to cause just the right level of pain with the favorite implements, and they’re usually very well broken in from being used so often. Spankers like using their own implements, the items that they’re used to, and the ones that feel completely natural to them almost like an extension of their hand. They are confident that they can wield these implements with complete accuracy and with total control, and spankers like to know that they have that level of control with their implements because then they can spank in total confidence that they won’t cause any unwanted damage or pain because they are so familiar with the implement in their hand.

People who enjoy being spanked also have their favorite implements. They usually enjoy certain materials over others, like wood over leather or leather over Lucite for instance. As much as someone may enjoy spanking, they usually enjoy specific implements and may dread others. Some people may love being paddled with wood paddles, but hate leather paddles or leather belts. This is how dominant people can sometimes punish a submissive who enjoys being spanked; they punish with an implement that they know the submissive doesn’t enjoy. The implements that a images-1submissive enjoys will usually cause sexual arousal, because the implements cause a type of pain that is enjoyable in some ways. Some submissives prefer a stingy smack and some prefer a thuddy smack.