Porn Maker Relishes In Santorum’s Exit

Rick Santorum and the adult industry weren’t the best of friends. Santorum was vocal about his hatred of all things XXX but I’m pretty sure he secretly jerked it to free HD porn like EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET. Why bother fronting like you aren’t interested in titties? It’s counterproductive. Anyway, everyone’s favorite porn makers, the good folks at Vivid Entertainment are having a field day over Ricky’s announcement to suspend his presidential bid, probably so he’d have more free time to secretly jack-off to fuck films. Read on and find out how Vivid Entertainment’s co-founder and chairman is thrilled with Santorum’s political exit.

It’s been a bumpy road for Santorum anyway. First of all, the guy’s mental. Not like, oh look at my friend Tony, he’s mental because he just slammed an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Santorum’s more like the kind of mental you stay away from. He’s the uncle everyone has that spends Thanksgiving dinner telling you how you’re committing a huge sin by dating a black chick then gets blind drunk and falls asleep with his hands on his crotch, dreaming of free HD porn. He probably lets out a fart or two that smell worse than a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and you and your dad have the unholy mission of waking him up before he wets himself. Fists are thrown, usually after you take away his keys and insist that he not drive home because of the entire box of wine he consumed. So yeah, Santorum is mental, which is why Vivid Entertainment’s Steven Hirsch told Politico that Rick is “bad for the country” and that people “are more comfortable with sexually explicit material than before”. He’s right. Everyone loves porn. Especially porn from Vivid.

The Vivid co-founder and chairman continued with, “this country has some bigger problems that they have to deal with than whether or not someone’s watching an adult film on their computer”. He’s right again, I mean we’ve got more important things to worry about as a country than people watching free HD porn, like the Albert Pujols contract. If we people want to watch sex movies, who cares? If Albert Pujols doesn’t hit, it’s a huge deal. Wait, what are we talking about? Oh yeah, Santorum. Hirsch went on to say that Rick’s claims that the porn industry hurts women were completely false. “The girls run the industry, they’re the ones that make all the decisions,” Vivid Entertainment’s head honcho said. He’s right yet again, because if you think Lexi Marie is letting people tell her what to do, you are sadly mistaken.

As Pennsylvania’s favorite pain-in-the-ass Senator prepares to do whatever he does when he’s not running for president, (play with his jiggly ball maybe?), Hirsch is relishing in Rick’s decision to suspend his campaign. With Santorum’s exit from the presidential race the XXX industry can rest easy for the time being until Mitt Romney decides it’s time to take on Vivid and the rest of the free HD porn makers.

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