Slut is such a great word. We all use it; sometimes for good, sometimes for evil. If we think someone’s too promiscuous we’ll slap them with the SLUT label. Or, when we’re really into a girl and we think she wants it bad and we’re the only one that can give it her, she’s our little slut. In college there was this one girl, let’s call her Amelia, who would share my tiny dorm room bed with me on more than one occasion. Amelia was kinda nerdy but hot as fuck so I’d put up with her constantly telling me the etymology of words. Plus, she was flexible, which is key when you’re trying to fuck in single bed. In honor of my bookworm slut, I’d like to present to you the origins of the word slut.
Slut or slattern (if I drove a Saturn, I’d call it the Slattern Saturn) is a pejorative term that denotes an individual who has loose morals and is known for their wanton ways. It’s generally used negatively and mostly towards women. Personally, I think women should take it back and make it their own like those riot girls tried to do in the 90s and in these videos of slutty solo girls in HD! I’d also like to see a XXX movie of Courtney Love going down on Kathleen Hanna. I’d settle for lookalikes.
According to the Online Etymology dictionary it’s also used as a 19 century euphemism for bitch to describe a female dog. They also use an example that I find hilarious: “Our little girl Susan is a most admirable slut and pleases us mightily.” So you knew from a young age that your daughter was going to be a slummock (fancy word for slut). Nice. Do most pornstars feel the same way? They must. Below is what I imagine Susan looks like now. She’s the most admirable Brigham Young University student who pleases the basketball team so mightily.
There is no clear origin of the first use of the word except that Chaucer (Paul Bettany in A Knight’s Tale or that guy who’s boring book you had to read in school) used sluttish in the 14th century to describe a man. Also, Amelia gave me a copy of The Canterbury Tales for my birthday one year so I bought the Cliff’s Notes and told her I not only read it twice but loved it. This is what we do when we like having sex with someone. Guess it makes me slutty.