Surviving the Dry Spell

Life is long and has many phases. Some of them are full of love and sex and good things with other people in them. During others it becomes harder — life can seem far more barren, with no one around for dating and the attempts to find them on personals sites coming up empty. At other times we realize that we just aren’t capable of connecting with other people healthfully, because of a recent break up or other painful periods of personal growth. Whatever the case, dry spells happen and need to be weathered. How does one do this and maintain sanity until the next good thing comes along?

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First off, avoid stagnant living. It can be easy to let ourselves go, gaining lots of weight, letting hygiene worsen, or one’s house becoming unbearably messy. After all we are just waiting for the right person to come along, right? Until then it doesn’t matter what we do.

Unfortunately, this kind of attitude has the effect of driving people off, both friends and potential lovers alike. One may even find one’s self turning down offers from hot people on their favorite dating site simply because it seems like so much trouble to shave, clean up, and throw out the trash in the bedroom or do all those dishes piling up. Make it worth while to do these things for you and in the end you will be far more attractive to the people you are looking for when they finally come back into one’s life after so long. Focus instead on becoming an even better person in the interim. Take classes or learn new skills; not only will this make one a better candidate for a relationship later but it is a great opportunity to meet people with similar interests as well.

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Find ways to pamper yourself and avoid negative self talk. Avoid the people that drag one down and avoid fuck buddy relationships with exes whenever possible.

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